Body Builders

What is with Quarter Horse people?  First of all, how is this an attractive horse?  Secondly, how is this massive bulk supposed to perform?  DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THAT THE FEATS CALLED FOR IN THE SHOW RING WERE ORIGINALLY TO TEST THE HORSES SUITABILITY FOR A SPECIFIC TASK?!  The only “job” this horse is suitable for is bouncer at a strip club where they waive clean needles instead of singles in gyno-row.

We’re all for substance but come on people, this is a wee bit extreme.

Are there steroids for horses now?  And, if so, do those horses get ‘roid rage?

Did you know that you can breed your mares to this fabulous stud for the low, low price of $5000?  If that’s not enough to seal the deal, the breeders offer an HYPP Guarantee!  That’s right! If your foal is “unregisterable due to HYPP restrictions by AQHA you will be entitled to a rebreed.”  Because, drum roll please, this horse is HYPP N/H!  Excellent!  Let’s contribute to continuing this relatively easily eradicable disease!  But hey, at least if your foal is likely to die, they’ll give ya a do-over.

As a steroid enthusiast, will he too suffer from testicular atrophy like his homo sapien brethren?

Commentary from a concerned (but still amused) reader: “This is the guy who is always at the weights EVERY time you go to the gym. everyone secretly laughs at him because he can’t even wipe his butt properly. (apparently he’s “running” in this picture!)”

Similarly, how would this horse even turn his head?  Does that neck bend at all?

On a more serious note, we did some research on HYPP and did you know that “a secondary characteristic associated with N/H and H/H horses is heavy, bulky muscling that is favored by stock horse judges”.   As per above, what is wrong with Quarter Horse owners?!?  Y’all are your own worst enemies!

Speaking of attractiveness… Pretty sure these dudes qualify for King of the Douches status.

Steroids kill (sperm count and the user’s appeal to the opposite sex).  ICK.

ps.  There is a signature on the pictures and we would love to give credit to the photographer (after all, they are nice pics and it’s not their fault the horse is a ‘roid monkey!), but we were unable to decipher it – however, more information about this stud can be found at


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Posted on September 30, 2011, in Conformation and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.

  1. That’s just…uh…I was slack jawed while reading the blog after seeing the pictures of that horse…he’s (sorry horse) UGLY. An ugly horse. I didn’t think it was possible. O_o

  2. Holy shit, it’s got bulging muscles ON ITS FACE.

  3. As a Quarter Horse owner and promoter of the breed and it’s attributes, I ask that you not lump ALL AQHA owners in the same bucket.
    “As per above, what is wrong with Quarter Horse owners?!? Y’all are your own worst enemies! ”
    I, along with thousands of others would not consider breeding to the pictured stallion. I am
    also sure, that given a couple of hours and the intent to discover poor examples of any other equine breed, I could come up with doozies of all kinds.
    I do agree with all other aspects and points of your post though. Just not with the indication that all AQHA owners are of the same opinion.

    • “… the intent to discover poor examples of any other equine breed, I could come up with doozies of all kinds.” There absolutely are bad examples within every breed. But those are usually the culls, not the $5000 stud fee World Champion stallions!

      Seriously, how does a physical appearance that is the antithesis of the original breed standard get so rewarded at breed shows? Quarter Horses are supposed to be fast, agile horses! Their name is a direct reference to the fact that they were bred to race quarter miles. I don’t think this horse is even physically capable of sprinting. And the actual registery was only started 70 years ago! How does a professional organization lose focus that fast?

      We know it’s not all of you – perhaps it would have been better to direct this at the AQHA itself!

  4. All they are good for is halter class. Try to find some side pics of this type of qh, they brag that they have such post legs in the rear that they have almost no angles, it’s like looking at 4×4 post. It is so sad and they continue to breed n/h horses to get the bulk. It really is telling that the stock breed registries continue to let n/h horses breed, it is all about the $$. Beautiful color, horrible build. There is a interesting thread on COTH about these halter horses, lots of horrific pictures.

  5. I couldn’t agree more – I love to see a horse that is a beautiful example of the breed. And when I think “beautiful example of the breed,” I think a horse that is ideal for the work intended for that breed. I don’t think anyone ever intended quarter horses to stand around in tutus (okay, I made that part up) with shiny halters with a pile of show-sheen on ’em. I hate to see horses being bred to some exotic, eccentric, (imo ugly) extreme just to be useless except for breeding…

    The HYPP thing bothers me to no end. I realize that an N/H stallion could be bred to an N/N mare with no risk, but given that these people offer a free breeding guarantee they must be allowing their N/H stallion to breed to N/H mares… resulting in 25% chance of N/N screwed up horses.
    I mean, what human and their significant other would opt to have a child with a TWENTY-FIVE percent chance of a difficult-to-impossible (and expensive) to manage, severely debilitating disease? (topped off with a 50% chance that they can pass it to their kids even if they don’t show symptoms!)
    They should not be offering a guarantee if your resulting foal can’t be registered… they SHOULDN’T be breeding to a mare who has a chance of producing a foal who can’t be registered in the first place.
    That theory doesn’t just go to HYPP horses, if you have a stud, you should never intend to breed something that has an noticeable chance of not being registered -_-

    Also, did anyone note that this horse is standing at a UNIVERSITY VETERINARY SCHOOL? Shame on them for permitting him to breed with any mare that is not N/N even if his owners don’t know better!

    /end rant

    Sorry, I’m a first time commenter. I love your “work” and I love the snark! It makes my day to get a laugh at a stupid horse owners expense when I read it. Knowing there are like-minded people out there makes it sting a little less when I deal with idiots in the horse world…

    • HYPP is an autosomal dominant gene, meaning that an N/H horse can still show symptoms. It seems to be an incomplete dominant (similar to the cream gene, where a single copy will result in a milder expression than a double copy), so a N/H horse is less likely to have the full blown seizures and paralysis associated with a H/H horse, but it can happen. They also usually have micro muscle twitching due to the disease, which is part of the reason they so readily build muscle mass. In other words, they are NOT merely carriers!

    • And we’re really glad you like what we do! It’s so nice to have a group of non-idiot horse owners to rant to!

  6. AQHA

    627 Registered Foals with
    267 performance foals (43%)
    Offspring with total of 6400 all time halter points
    346 of 640 have a crème gene (palomino, buckskin, cremello, perlino)-54%; 23% bay;
    29 World Champions
    31 Reserve World Champions
    AQHA leading sires list

    71 Total Registerd Foals
    41 mares
    23 performance foals (33%)
    45 with color (63% tobiano or overo)
    48 Buckskin or Palomino (68%)
    12 Paint World Champions
    7 Reserve World Champions
    APHA leading sires list
    Top 35 leading sires of APHA world champions (only 6 AQHA stallions in this prestigious category)

    89 Total Registered Foals
    21 World Champions
    30 Reserve World Champions
    52 have show records

    13 World Champions
    10 Reserve World Champions

    36 World Champions
    20 Reserve World Champions

    SCARY numbers of his foals on the ground,,, but that’s just the registered ones, we’s assume that around 1/4 of his foals weren’t even able to be registered!!!

  7. I think I found his long lost cousin =X

  8. How in the world do they fit up horses that look like that? Horses can’t exactly lift weights, but that… thing… doesn’t look like it could hold up to even half an hour of jogging a day, let alone any more strenuous kind of workout. Does HYPP build that kind of muscle with no workouts? I hate to think what they’re doing to keep its body fat down far enough for the muscle to be that well defined.

    • That’s one of the side effects of HYPP – tiny muscle spasms that aren’t visible to the eye, but that result in the muscles being continually active. Means the horses add muscle bulk and definition with minimal work. And it’s why people continue to breed back to HYPP positive horses. Lazy asshats!

  9. I was just about to ask the question about whether the horse was obese or really if that is muscle. Thanks SR for the information about HYPP and muscle spasms. And now, for my reaction to your comment that that’s why people continue to breed back to HYPP horses. If that’s true, then O. M. G.!!!

  10. Remember that word “creepalicious”? Well just imagine this fellow sneaking up on you in the pasture, mugging you for a peppermint. Egads *shudders*

  11. I actually had a recent debate on Facebook with someone I know who wanted to breed to him.


  12. My family has own quarter horses all my life. I showed on the QH breed circuit for 7 years. And from my some-what-inside-the-QH-industry (I haven’t shown QH in 4 years, but I doubt things have changed much): everyone who shows QH knows they don’t actually ride halter horses! In all my years of showing quarter horse, I saw 1 “halter” horse shown under saddle. 1.

    Which leads us to the question, why on Earth is a horse that you can’t ride winning world championships? I think this is something that needs to be dealt with within the AQHA judging standards. I mean really, if those basically unusable horses stop winning the classes, then people will stop paying $5000 to breed to them. It’s that simple.

    And don’t get me started on HYPP. I’ve never own a horse that is HYPP and I never will. All horses not HYPP N/N should be sterilized and their foals should be unregisterable. Simple solution!

  13. To be fair he is a halter bred Quarter horse. If you look at the reining ,cutting ,racing Quarters they are a whole diffrent breed. Lean and fast!
    I personally despise halter quarters due to their “steroid body builder” apperance, but you cant blame all the quarter horse handlers for having QHs like this. This is just a specific adaption of the breed.

  14. My husband’s horse is probably N/H. He’s a grandson of Impressive. Why oh why was his mom a broodmare at a college?? I don’t know. But that’s where he was bred and raised. I knew him as a moody school horse. When I graduated they decided to put him up for sale since he hated arena work. I knew he loved the trails so I bought him. That was 5 years ago, he’s 14 now and takes the best care of my husband. But now we’re starting to deal with lameness from his terrible conformation. Biiiig horse on little legs.

  15. Be careful. I wrote an article about this horse back in Feb 2010 (

    and have gotten nasty emails from this horse’s owner threatening to sue me over copyright. Unfortunately for him, I actually understand intellectual copyright law and know that I am well within my rights to have that article up and running.

  1. Pingback: Do you think seizures are a valuable trait in your horses? « snarkyrider

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