The less said the better?

Good Gawd! Does Kijiji charge by the word?!  Our lovely reader Megan from Alberta, Canada sent us the following ads off of Kijiji (Canada’s version of craigslist).

“”Jess” 13 year old throughbred, quarter horse, mare.
Hates: Being caught, Trailers
Likes: Women and Kids
Needs: Fairly experienced Rider
Once caught beautiful ride.
If you phone leave a message we’ll phone back.”

Um, kudos for your honesty?  Although, you forgot to mention how tall the horse is and her training/experience! -not to belittle the fact that she likes women and kids or anything!  Because that’s good information!  Men beware!  If you’re actually able to get your newly purchased horse into the trailer to take take her home, well that’s where the real fun begins!  And at what point does a person become “fairly experienced”?  Is it after 2 months?  2 years?  3 lessons?  Come on people!  This is how inexperienced, unknowledgeable (yup, just made that word up, go with it) people end up with horses that could kill them.  -I’m sure that’s a bit extreme here but the premise is the same!

They must charge by the word…

“blaze is not broke but comes when called he would be a good project horse. selling due to owners illness “

I’m not necessarily a big fan of making fun of sick people, but hopefully it was a friend of the ill owner who wrote this ad because I have a comment or two.  YIPPEEEE!!!  I’ve always wanted a horse that comes when it’s called!  It’s like a dog but bigger and exponentially more expensive!  And to complete the K-9 metaphor (ya, that’s right, I know what a simile is!) you can’t even ride it!  But really, would you want to?  That is a suuuuper short back and tank-like shoulders – but then again, it’d probably be good for him given that he could afford to drop a few pounds.  Oh, um, by the way, why would he make a good project horse?  Is it just because he isn’t broke?  How old is this horse?  What is his breeding?  And they don’t technically mention whether or not he’s a gelding or a stallion!  But hey, that’s almost a non-issue given that he comes when called!

Last, but not least, we have an Arab mare for sale

“very good project horse
cannot be registered
perfect for around the farm
has never been tied in a trailer
5 years old and around 15 hands high
sorry no more pictures”

Seriously, just because the horse isn’t broke it does not mean it will make a “good project horse”!  I’m going to go ahead and jump over the whole unregisterable issue and dive right into “sorry no more pictures” thang.  WHY?!  There is NO good reason you can’t procure photos that include the horse’s legs using one of the following methods.

1.  Use the camera you took the original photo with.  Oh, it’s broken? Ok then, how about…

2.  Go out and buy a new one!  You can pick up a new digital camera for less than the cost of date night at the cinema!  Can’t afford one?  May I suggest…

3.  Using your cell phone!  I don’t even think you can buy a cell without a camera on it anymore! Ooooh wow, you don’t have a cell phone? Technophobe!

4.  Borrow your neighbors (I would have said to borrow a friends but at this point I’m wondering if you have any…)

BAM! That last one was offside!

I included this clip for 2 reasons:

1 – The old dude makes fun of the kid with the big head and states that his comment is “offside” (drawing a parallel) and

2- the old dude is Mike Myers, beloved and high-larious Canadian actor.

(You can tell which one of us wrote this just by how many times ellipses were used…  it’s like a sickness!)


About snarkyrider

We're snarktastic

Posted on October 13, 2011, in Bad Horse Ads and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Woah. That second one is what, an eight on the Henneke scale? Killing through kindness, there.

  2. FlyByNight, I had to comment on that too. OMG Blaze is going to EXPLODE pretty soon!

    Not everything can live on grass pasture!!!

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