10 ways to get featured on Snarky Rider

10.  Post a grammatically incorrect atrocious or information-low ad on craigslist

9.  Use crappy pictures in your ad, including, but not limited to, 4 + year old photos, photo of a photo of your horse, group shots, shots so far away you can’t tell if the horse is grey or just really, really dirty

8.  Breed a poorly conformed mare just so she’s not sitting in a field and call yourself a “breeding farm”

7.  Offer a fugly stallion up for stud even though his balls should have been chopped off the second they descended.

6.  Post pictures of yourself or your toddler doing stupid, irresponsible things with horses and priding yourself on your stupidity – leaving the rest of us to hope that natural selection will do away with you shortly.

5.  Riding like an asshat and posting the pictures/videos on the internet to say, and here I’m paraphrasing, “haha look at us, we’re so stupid we think putting ourselves and our horse in danger is funny and don’t care about the consequences of our actions!”

4.  Spouting tired, sexist rhetoric and blaming women for 99% of the problems in the horse world just because you can’t get laid.

3.  Your “horse” looks like it may belong to a different species – such as  a moose, a dog, a mountain goat, a yak, a chipmunk, a swan, a giraffe, a cow, and last but certainly not least: an alpaca!

2.  Using an old, ailing horse to reenact that scene from Star Wars because you’re either completely frakked in the head or you’re so desperate for fame and attention you think this is acceptable behavior – actually I think “or” is the wrong word to use, “and” seems more suitable.

and the number one way to get yourself featured on this blog?

1.  Starving or abusing your horse – or horse(s) in your care because you’re apparently old and senile and/or “didn’t know”.


About snarkyrider

We're snarktastic

Posted on November 30, 2011, in Bad Horse Ads, Bad Riders, Conformation, Snarky Rider Awards and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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