Pictoral definitions of the word “fugly”

Also, classic displays of the results of breeders who don’t know what the eff they’re doing (*cough* backyard breeders *cough*).

Health warning: Do not stand directly in front of this horse!  The sheer weight of it’s head in proportion to the rest of it’s body is going to cause it to tip at any moment!

very green pony mare asking $200.00 please call ###-###-#### ask for Seller if you have any questions

We’re sorry but this horse is the very definition of the made-up word “fugly”.  From the angle of the photo is looks like it’s hind legs are camped under, we’re not sure which way the hooves are pointing but we’re willing to assume (even though we’ve had trouble with this in the past) that they don’t all point forward.  The front legs are angling forward, alluding to the aforementioned face planting.  Which brings us back to the head.  And oh what a head it is!  (yes, we’re bypassing a number of other conformational faults but at this point it’s kind of like throwing a dart at the broad side of a barn and yelling “bullseye” when it hits any part of it!)

This horse’s head looks like a mixture of Quarter Horse, some type of draft, maybe a bit of warmblood, and some cow.  It definitely has some cow-like features.  Quite cow-esque, if you ask us.  Tres cow-chic.  The cow-ish-ness of that horse’s head is impressive.  It has a certain je ne sais cow.  -ok we’re done.  Cow.

Drum roll please.

And now, from the seller that brought you Big Head (above), we have the once in a lifetime opportunity to own a mustang mare who is so confused about the direction her life is taking that her front feet literally point in two different, and opposing, directions!

mustang mare 10yrs old green broke will saddle and bridle only been riden a few times ask $200.00 call ###-###-#### ask for Seller if you have any questions

Wow.  Just wow.  But at least it’s not a cow.


About snarkyrider

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Posted on December 6, 2011, in Bad Horse Ads, Conformation and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. OK, I went from feeling sorry or the poor cow horse to end up in tears from laughing at how many puns you can make from the word cow. I think je ne sais cow is my favorite *still giggling*

    Well as for the second poor critter, wow a green broke 10yr Mustang is every horse lover’s dream! I love that they add “will saddle and bridle” as if it’s a skill. The skill of standing in one spot long enough for someone to put a saddle and bridle on her? Gee wiz, what a deal!

  2. At least the ads are straight to the point!

    I seem to remember the other day an ad going something like this: “I have this pony Cow-rina I got from my cousin John, who always gets confused with my second cousin Jim-bob who divorcds Mary Ellen–OMG such a tramp! I boughted her for my lil sis but she got tired of ridding after the pony bucked her off a few times. I thought it was pretty funny and jumped on Cow-rina the last time and I stayed on pretty long before she tripped and fell.

    She doesn’t have the fancy movement my Mustang Spirit has. I’d recommend Cow-rina for an advanced begginner ’cause she still bucks. I think she’d make an eventer ’cause she can jump out of anything! Oh, and Spirit would be great with a begginner or little kid’s because she doesn’t buck much any more and she usually stops, although I broke my rein once when she was being stubborn…”

  3. I think the little mare took ballet lessons. My toes pointed out like that after years of being drilled in the classic five positions!

  4. Awww I think the first pony is cute! 🙂 In a “I may be part draft with a little bit of yak thrown in”. I would take her.

  5. MidwestMustangMomma

    Can you tell me the date on the ad for the mustang mare. She looks suspiciously like a mustang we bought at an auction for $35. The markings are identical but so is the rotation of her fore cannon bones.

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