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A Christmas Classic


We thought it was about time to get into the holiday spirit.  We’ve got our tacky holiday sweaters on, we’re drinking glasses of eggnog (ok, mostly rum, with a little bit of eggnog), eating bourbon balls and brandy beans (anyone sense a theme here?) and getting some decorations up.  And since Jumper Girl + Dressage Empress + drinking = off-key, and often off-color, singing; we’re doing some caroling!  Which made us think a little harder about the lyrics to a well known Christmas Carol.

Everyone’s familiar with Jingle Bells, right?  How about the part when they run the “lean and lank” horse into a snowbank, upend everything and then go back to laughing all the way?

One of our faithful readers (otherwise known as JG’s mom) decided to come up with some new lyrics, this time from poor ol’ Bob-Tail’s point of view.  We hope you enjoy, and that you sing just as off-key as we do!

Ploughing through the snow

Drunken asshole at the reins

A ton of weight in tow

Wish they could feel my pain!

——

They wouldn’t take the road

The snow is three feet deep

I’d love to dump this rowdy load

And get some well earned sleep…

——

O! Jingle bells, sound like hell

Jangling round my head.

Laughing bastards piss me off

I wish that they were dead!

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About snarkyrider

We're snarktastic

Posted on December 9, 2011, in horse, Misc Horsies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Nice lyrics! Except in driving they are called “lines” not reins, but that doesn’t rhyme very well…hope you all have a super solstice and all that jazz!

  2. Brilliant! Now y’all need to get your karaoke going and record it! 😉

  3. Too funny… and I am disappointed in myself for not ever hearing that second verse before. Poor horse! I may never feel the same way about “Jingle Bells” again, unfortunately!

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