A Christmas Classic
We thought it was about time to get into the holiday spirit. We’ve got our tacky holiday sweaters on, we’re drinking glasses of eggnog (ok, mostly rum, with a little bit of eggnog), eating bourbon balls and brandy beans (anyone sense a theme here?) and getting some decorations up. And since Jumper Girl + Dressage Empress + drinking = off-key, and often off-color, singing; we’re doing some caroling! Which made us think a little harder about the lyrics to a well known Christmas Carol.
Everyone’s familiar with Jingle Bells, right? How about the part when they run the “lean and lank” horse into a snowbank, upend everything and then go back to laughing all the way?
One of our faithful readers (otherwise known as JG’s mom) decided to come up with some new lyrics, this time from poor ol’ Bob-Tail’s point of view. We hope you enjoy, and that you sing just as off-key as we do!
Ploughing through the snow
Drunken asshole at the reins
A ton of weight in tow
Wish they could feel my pain!
They wouldn’t take the road
The snow is three feet deep
I’d love to dump this rowdy load
And get some well earned sleep…
O! Jingle bells, sound like hell
Jangling round my head.
Laughing bastards piss me off
I wish that they were dead!