You may be a hoarder if…

1.  You can’t remember the names of each horse you own

2.  You can go several days without seeing one of your horses, even though they all live in the paddock behind your house

3.  It’s not unusual to have a horse greet you at the breakfast table (or lunch or dinner tables) inside your house

4.  People who can’t afford to feed their own horses can add theirs to your herd without you noticing

5.  You’re on a first name basis with auctions

6. Local rescuers stop by every once in a while to “just check in and see how everyone’s doing”

7. anyone care to add?!


About snarkyrider

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Posted on January 12, 2012, in Misc Horsies and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.

  1. You don’t know how many horses/dogs/goats/pigs you have. Not because you can’t count but you can’t figure out if you have to count the dead ones, and do the half dead ones count as a whole animal or a half? And do you have to count the ones that were born when you weren’t looking? If you are not feeding them today do they count?

  2. You would try to find homes for some of them but “no one can love them as much as I can”

  3. You’re showering in your horse trailer and use public charity to pay your electric bill!!! My personal favorite.

  4. That baby you keep meaning to find time for is “suddenly” a 5 year old who isn’t halter broke (I have one of those in my back yard now – recently aquired, of course! *I will stop reading Craigslist, I will stop reading Craigslist…)

    Gotta say I followed you over from Fugly and I absolutely love the blog. I’m finally caught up on all the past posts 🙂

  5. You’re pretty sure this is Animal Control’s MO:

    Step 1- “Steal” all your animals

    Step 2- PROFIT!!

    Why else would they be trying to take such a “valuable” herd?? (they ask while standing in an empty hay storage while a horse drops dead behind them)

  6. None of them can be caught, so they when they run away it’s like watching a school of fish evade a predator. Running from someone trying to catch them is the only formal exercise they’ve had in months.

    You appear on Animal Planet with your face blurred out.

  7. You may be a hoarder if….
    You can’t find he time/money or have the ability to have your horses at least halter broke, afford farrier care, feed, or have to depend on sudden mass emails to help you
    find homes for them when you suddenly find you can’t afford them all…
    Your fields/paddocks more resemble a feedlot than anything else, but the horses are starving instead

    When you haul in our latest bunch of animals to the auction, the auctioneer, kill buyers and brokers come up to you and shake your hand and say thanks for helping them meet their quotas… while animal rescuer’s weep when they see you pull up.

  8. Claim you are doing God’s work, donations gladly accepted.


    You may be a hoarder when…. You ” always need at least 4 trail horses” and you live/ride alone. ( my brother)

    You may be a hoarder when…. You dam near have a horse of every breed in your barn and they ALL belong to you. again… my brother LOL

    You may be a hoarder when…. your boarding facility is full, but you dont have a single boarder…. ( you guessed it.. my brother!)

    You may be a hoarder when…. You currently own 5 horses, you take in a sales project and decide ” If its worth a grand to someone else, what makes you think I wouldn’t wanna keep it!” and NEVER sell the freakin horse! ( shakes head, at my brother)

    • Ha! To just have one horse you need at least two. But if you want to ride one of the horses then you need to have three so the other isn’t left behind. But then since you now have three, you want to take two on a trail ride….so now you need 4. So….your brother might be right about this. Actually, I think he needs 5 horses.

  10. You think deworming/vaccinations/hoof trimming is “unnatural” and therefore don’t bother with it.

  11. Your older older horses are all emaciated but you think they’re just fine, that’s they way they’re supposed to look when they get old, ya know…

    OT but for the next bad add posts I suggest you try taking a look at Done Deal from Ireland, where you can find gems just like this one:

  12. “3. It’s not unusual to have a horse greet you at the breakfast table (or lunch or dinner tables) inside your house”

  13. When you finially break down and take one of your prized colts to auction and get $50 for it.
    They all are purebreds, but you either haven’t gotten around to sending in the paperwork or you can no longer find their papers.
    You can’t afford your 20, so you trade one for someone’s bred mare.
    You still have your 2011 foals stalled with their mommas, when their 2012 foals are born.
    Every vet and blacksmith knows you, and drives 5 miles out of their way to avoid your farm.
    The stores in town now require cash up front.
    You are post dating your hay check several paychecked ahead.
    The more horses, the more dogs you seem to take in.
    You take every free critter in and give it a home for life.
    You breed 10 foals in hopes of getting that “great” one and when that doesn’t work, you try again, and again, breeding the same mares to the same stallion again.
    You can’t pay your electric bill, but you manage to get to the local barrel shows okay.
    You tell everyone who will listen how tough your life is, how hard it is to keep afloat, woe is me, life is so hard for me, with 20 horses standing in your back yard.
    You think all the colts you raised “should be” champions, if you only had the time to break them.
    You have 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 year olds who are STILL unbroke.
    If anyone asks if you have anything for sale, you think real hard….. and say no.

  14. When one of your animals dies, you do not notice it is missing… for years.


    When one of your animals dies, it is immediately absorbed into the piles of trash it was living in, only to be found years later in a mummified, slightly squished state.

  15. You haven’t cleaned the cat and dog poop in your house for the last 6 months.

    Lol @ number one.

    Sometimes I will go through each of the horses names when I’m scolding one of them, only to realize that I started off with the right name. “LADY! SUGAR! JACK! SUNNY! Damn. LADY, STOP IT!!”

  16. You may be a hoarder if- Your website has more pictures of unicorns and pegasus(pegasuses? pegasi?) than real horses.

  17. You use your tax returns to either buy another horse or a new TV.

  18. I have four black mares all around the same size. I have to look really really carefully at them, close too (they are related) to tell them apart. Once I even put a mare and her foal up for the night only to be met by an anxious looking mare outside the stall and a bored mare with a puzzled foal inside the stall.
    Wrong mare.
    I don’t think I am a hoarder, but I do think most horse people are batty to start with, so it is perhaps less of a journey for us to turn into full on nut jobs?

  19. I think the real difference is if the horses/animals are well cared for and have all necessary attention required. There’s a guy in the area I live in that has taken in…. a few cats (lol). Here’s his website- Granted, I haven’t been to the ranch, but as far as I can see, he isn’t what I would consider a hoarder.

  1. Pingback: Real live hoarder (because those are rare?) « snarkyrider

  2. Pingback: Real live hoarder (because those are rare?)

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