You know you’re a douchebag when…
…well, when we call you one.
“ha! ha! look! What fun! Watch as I torture and abuse this teeny tiny horse!”
Dear odious douchebag;
How dare you use the fear and pain you’ve put this horse through to ‘prove your manhood’. You have no idea what it means to be a horse owner. The thought of sharing the same oxygen as you is thoroughly nauseating.
Around 15 seconds in to the video someone from the sidelines cautions you to be careful and advises “it’s not worth a broken arm”. In fact, what you have done to this horse is worth a lot more. You try to make the poor thing move forward by kicking it’s hind legs. You sit on his kidneys. You wrench on the horse’s back when you are unseated, using your legs to reposition yourself back onto the kidneys of a horse who is a fraction of your size and weight.
In this next video, you yourself state that you’re bigger than the horse – that’s really not something anyone should be able to accurately say about a horse they’re about to get on…
After seeing these videos a few times, we were left wondering what it would look like if the situation were reversed. We’ve performed a few rough calculations and, utilizing the results, have drawn a schematic to help you visualize the reversal – strictly for demonstrative purposes, we take no joy in the following…
In case anyone wants to check our math, here is the equation we based our schematic on:
(1 x D) x (AH x10000000000000000000000) = P
(Wherein: D = douchebag; AH = AssHattery; P = Punishment)
But wait! We’re not done yet! The providers of the first video have proven what we’ve long suspected:
Asshattery is genetic!
We know, we know. We shouldn’t blame the kid, the dad certainly seems capable of pushing him into this level of asshattery, but we could always hope he’d see the error of his father’s ways. Right? Don’t worry, we’re not going to write the kid off yet… but it wouldn’t surprise us if he grows up to be Odious Douchebag version 2.0