Real live hoarder (because those are rare?)
Ok, so we did a post a week or so ago listing signs that someone may be a hoarder – it was intended as a joke but there was an underlying note of seriousness. Given that that post was so recently published, we felt we had to post this sale ad sent to us by a reader off the Ontario Kijiji.
“MAKE AN OFFER:
Lady is a very pretty Thelwell type chestnut pony broodmare with long thick silver mane and the attitude to go with it. May have been trained to drive. 11.2HH May be in foal to Newfoundland pony stallion, for July or August 2012.
Chestnut filly, Tsue, born June 2011, is out of Lady and by Newfoundland pony stallion, Tunis. Should mature taller than dam.
Lady has an attitude problem and is not suited for children, beginners or some novices. Tsue has been copying her dam’s poor behaviours.
Too many sheep, goats, alpacas, llamas, dogs, donkeys, other ponies/horses, ducks, geese, chickens, bunnies, etc to have the time to modify/rehabilitate Lady.
$400 each OR BEST OFFER”
“Too many sheep, goats, alpacas, llamas, dogs, donkeys, other ponies/horses, ducks, geese, chickens, bunnies, etc” Say what? How does anyone end up with that kind of menagerie? Are they trying to collect every species of farm animal? Is this another contest we haven’t heard of? Or is there some sort of epic flood coming again? As long as they get someone a little more organized than last time… come on! Noah forgot the freaking unicorns!!!
We guess the fact that the seller is actually willing to part with a couple of their creatures means they’re not a true hoarder, but it’s a fine line they’re walking. And there is so much else wrong with this ad that we’re not going to let ’em off the hook!
We’ll start off with the lack of information on age or breed. Because “Thelwell” is not a breed, or even a real type. It’s a freaking cartoon! A parody of bad pony traits, no less. Not really a selling point, or something that you’d want to go out of your way to create more of. But hey, they’re not going out of their way to create more of them, they’re just leaving it to chance. She “may” have another on the way; having an ultrasound done to confirm that would be far too much of a hassle for these folks! Nope, they prefer the element of surprise. Although, we’re fairly certain that if she is preggers, momma and baby would prefer some element of nutritional supplementation. But why ruin the surprise?
And why on earth are they taking the chance of making more poorly behaved ponies that aren’t suitable for children anyways? It’s not like her conformation is so spectacular that the attitude is worth it. It’s actually the polar opposite of spectacular. And apparently her last filly is already taking after mom – just peachy! Now they multiple pissy ponies for someone else to deal with! Yay!
Finally, what is that just above her left knee? Our minds immediately go to some sort of sci-fi horror gastropod thing slithering around inside there. Makes total sense, right?