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Real live hoarder (because those are rare?)


Ok, so we did a post a week or so ago listing signs that someone may be a hoarder – it was intended as a joke but there was an underlying note of seriousness.  Given that that post was so recently published, we felt we had to post this sale ad sent to us by a reader off the Ontario Kijiji.

“MAKE AN OFFER:

Lady is a very pretty Thelwell type chestnut pony broodmare with long thick silver mane and the attitude to go with it. May have been trained to drive. 11.2HH May be in foal to Newfoundland pony stallion, for July or August 2012.

Chestnut filly, Tsue, born June 2011, is out of Lady and by Newfoundland pony stallion, Tunis. Should mature taller than dam.

Lady has an attitude problem and is not suited for children, beginners or some novices. Tsue has been copying her dam’s poor behaviours.

Too many sheep, goats, alpacas, llamas, dogs, donkeys, other ponies/horses, ducks, geese, chickens, bunnies, etc to have the time to modify/rehabilitate Lady.

$400 each OR BEST OFFER”

“Too many sheep, goats, alpacas, llamas, dogs, donkeys, other ponies/horses, ducks, geese, chickens, bunnies, etc”  Say what?  How does anyone end up with that kind of menagerie?  Are they trying to collect every species of farm animal?  Is this another contest we haven’t heard of?  Or is there some sort of epic flood coming again?  As long as they get someone a little more organized than last time… come on!  Noah forgot the freaking unicorns!!!

We guess the fact that the seller is actually willing to part with a couple of their creatures means they’re not a true hoarder, but it’s a fine line they’re walking.  And there is so much else wrong with this ad that we’re not going to let ’em off the hook!

We’ll start off with the lack of information on age or breed.  Because “Thelwell” is not a breed, or even a real type.  It’s a freaking cartoon!  A parody of bad pony traits, no less.  Not really a selling point, or something that you’d want to go out of your way to create more of.  But hey, they’re not going out of their way to create more of them, they’re just leaving it to chance.  She “may” have another on the way; having an ultrasound done to confirm that would be far too much of a hassle for these folks!  Nope, they prefer the element of surprise.  Although, we’re fairly certain that if she is preggers, momma and baby would prefer some element of nutritional supplementation.  But why ruin the surprise?

And why on earth are they taking the chance of making more poorly behaved ponies that aren’t suitable for children anyways?  It’s not like her conformation is so spectacular that the attitude is worth it.  It’s actually the polar opposite of spectacular.  And apparently her last filly is already taking after mom – just peachy!  Now they multiple pissy ponies for someone else to deal with!  Yay!

Finally, what is that just above her left knee?  Our minds immediately go to some sort of sci-fi horror gastropod thing slithering around inside there.  Makes total sense, right?

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About snarkyrider

We're snarktastic

Posted on January 19, 2012, in Misc Horsies. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Maybe the reason the ponies have attitude issues is because they’re stuck with moronic Canadian hosers who vote Conservative?

    Good God, if it weren’t for the fact they live in Ontario I would have thought you were talking about my neighbour 200 m East of me. Thankfully his Jenny MiniDonk is sterile. Sadly, that leaves the sheep, Llamas (very scary BTW when they show up in your yard in the middle of the night and start clearing their throats with a Ram sheep in tow no less), pigs, crazy flock of Ganders and weird Guinea hens.

  2. If she’s not pregnant, she’s fat…of course, with that kind of pony, fat IS rather likely…

  3. Big chest, small hips. If her foal inherits that, she’ll be lucky to live through the birth. Poor thing. Belly looks wormy and yet, she’d be a cute driver.

  4. Well, at least they still know the horses names?
    Though I doubt they would know the names of all the other critters in their Noah’s Arc, BYB version.

  5. Why don’t they have the time? Last I knew, not to many people spent a lot of time training their chickens, sheep, bunnies, ducks, geese, and what have you. Feed them morning and night and that’s about it. Should leave you lots of time to work with a pony. However, me thinks they have tried and found out that the pony is smarter than they are. Hence, the desire to let you give it a try next.

  6. She looks like my neighbor’s (back in VA) pony “Cookie”. Although she’s 20 something, the look to have the same height, color and conformation except Cookie is well cared for and well-behaved. Wonderful child’s pony used for many years in 4H (although sometimes if the kids isn’t brave enough she will take the bit and go home at a trot in the middle of doing a barrel pattern). Last used under saddle and driven in 4H by my 10 year old (small) daughter: western games, huntseat and in pony cart. Wonder if this mare also has a 4 inch gap between her anus and the top of her vagina lips, hence the reason Cookie HAS NEVER AND WILL NEVER be bred! Yes, it’s an odd deformaty that would probably cause alot of problems foaling, but doesn’t affect Cookie’s movement or health at all.

  7. She certainly looks pregnant. Although, the date stamp has “coincidentally” had the last digit chopped off – quite possible that pic is over a year old.

    How do people even manage to collect that kind of menangerie? Alpacas? Really? My “upgraded” gelding came from a hoarder. She had a small herd of horses, more goats than she could count (honestly – there were somewhere between 60 and 80 on the small property), multiple dogs, breeding cats, chickens, quail, and honey bees, of all things. How does that even happen?

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