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Crystal hokum oops sorry, we mean healing


There are a number of things in this world that remain a mystery. Chief among them being, of course, how Bush got elected to a second term.  Fool me once, shame on me; Fool me twice, shame on the general American populace.  But a close second is the whole crystal healing phenomena.  We started researching this topic with as open a mind as we could muster and the websites we came across did nothing to help widen that already admittedly small gap.

Let’s start with what is crystal healing?  By all accounts it’s using rocks to cure various ailments – anything from bleeding, open wounds to lameness issues to psychological imbalances.  Actually, there’s some contradiction on that – one website  says they work on horses after “a vet has been consulted” and “consent has been given” while an article on another website  details how they just went ahead and used their magic amethyst wand (yes, they actually used the word wand – they don’t need our help to make themselves look less credible) to heal a “profusely bleeding” gash above a horse’s eye.

There are a number of different crystals used to heal.  According to the woman with the magic wand, there are 15 “healing crystals for pets and animals”.  The list below is copied directly from here.

  • AMETHYST – Master Healer – Used for Everything. Pain, Disorientation, Head area
  • BLACK ONYX – Bowels, Parasites, Protection
  • CALCITE – Skeletal
  • CARNELIAN – Skin
  • CLEAR QUARTZ – Master Healer – Effective for All Conditions
  • CORAL – Kidneys, Bladder
  • FLUORITE – (blue) Bones, (blue/green or clear) Respiration, (green) Blood Purification or Lymphs, (green/yellow) Digestion
  • GARNET – Reproductive System
  • HEMATITE – Muscular System
  • KYANITE – Alignment of all Chakras, Tendons, or Bones
  • MALACHITE (**DO NOT PERMIT YOUR PET OR ANIMAL TO EAT THIS STONE!! Malachite has very high levels of copper and can lead to serious or fatal blood poisoning even if small amounts are swallowed. FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY.) – Used for Heart Problems, Liver Detoxification.
  • ROSE QUARTZ – Injuries, Wounds, Reduces Stress
  • SMOKEY QUARTZ – Nervous System, Swellings
  • SODALITE – Calming, Nervousness, Good for Settling Down During Travel
  • SUGILITE – Death and Dying
  • TURQUOISE – Master Healer – Used for Everything. Protection

How does a practitioner choose which crystal to use to heal an animal?  Well, according to this site, they “intuit” “what ever your animal decides”.  They don’t look at the above list and say to themselves,  “well the animal appears to be suffering from X so I’ll use Y gem stone”.

Why would supposedly trained “medical” professionals need to do what amounts to guessing what tool of their trade to use?

Because practitioners can’t seem to even decide amongst themselves what gem stone heals what malady.

There are other sites that tout the benefits of each stone, but oddly enough, none of them agree on which gem stone does what.

How dare anyone call this a psuedo science after reading this!  It is clearly an amazing healing tool that we aren’t properly utilizing. Get rid of the doctors and MRI’s and throw in some gem stones, pendulums and magic amethyst wands!

——-

All joking aside, it’s stories like the one we’re about to share with you that send us running away from crystal healers and other such “natural” practitioners.  This anecdote has been copied from one of the websites we’ve linked to a few times throughout this post.

“A few years ago I was healing at a horse farm when one horse was severely bitten over the eye by another during exuberant play. The owner immediately brought the injured horse to me who was profusely bleeding from a 4 inch gash on the eye brow.

I had been demonstrating the use of a crystal wand. The wand was made of a large Amethyst crystal fixed to a 2 foot copper wand. I pointed the wand to the horse’s eye brow and held it several inches away, holding it steady. Within 30 seconds the blood flow had stopped. Over the next few minutes, we were amazed to see that scar tissue was starting to form.

The owner was delighted, as she said the crystal healing had saved her an emergency visit from the vet to sew up the gash. Not all crystal healings are as spontaneous, but you can expect a quickening of the healing process.”

To sum up; the horse’s owner decided not to call a vet out to treat a head wound that, even to the untrained eye, required stitches and instead had someone point a gem stone at the end of a 2 foot “wand”.  Is anyone else wondering what might have happened had the horse flung his head at an inopportune moment… eye-ka-bob anyone?

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About snarkyrider

We're snarktastic

Posted on January 23, 2012, in Misc Horsies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. Gee, I wonder if I could use some of the bailing wire I have hanging in my shed to work some voo-doo on my two hay-burners? Do you think I could magically get their hooves trimmed if I wave this around them and think positive thoughts?
    Jeez!!!! some people are really gullible. (shake my head in exasperation)

  2. Let me see if I have this right. A horse gets a gash and after it’s left alone for a period of time it stops bleeding and starts coagulating? Hmmm… pretty sure she didn’t need a wand for that to happen. I think that’s just how it works (with or without the wand). Chances are that is going to be a lovely scar in a few months.

    People are so stupid…

  3. So according to that list, sugilite heals death!? I’d like to see someone explain how that works.

  4. I have a “friend” who is into all sorts of healing and energy stuff from crystals and considers herself a healer. Since I am a farrier, massage therapist and chiropractor for horses, she also considers me a “healer” and always trying to convince me that these rocks in combination with my therapy are going to cause miracles. Mmmm…how about I just grab some from the driveway? I think the best way of using crystals is to chuck em at the heads of idiots.

  5. Ok, short story time: I am a crystallographer. I use high powered X-rays to determine the 3-D structure of molecules. Us crystallographers get together every year at big conferences and party down, I mean, exchange scientific developments. At one of these serious exchanges of ideas, at a swank restaurant, a group of us were approached by a couple, who asked us where we were from. We all politely replied, since our accents made clear that we were not from “around here.” Then they asked what we did, and I got nominated as the representative. I said ” crystallography, ” and just as I was about to launch into my default explanation, the wife said,”is that a meta-physical thing?” “No, its a physics thing,” I said. And let me tell you, I have worked with some of the compounds mentioned above, and none have ever healed me, and some I swear have given me ulcers….

  6. A horse came into the vet school many moons ago when I was working there with symbols painted on it’s head and body and small bags of crystals tied in its mane and tail. We were all a bit dumbfounded and had a good laugh but at least its owner realized that the colic signs it had weren’t improving, I believe the horse went to surgery and recovered. I often wonder if it had received proper vet treatment all along or if the vet school was a last ditch effort.

  7. Holy shit that horse must have been part Wolverine. Because no way would someone talking about the healing powers of crystals falsify evidence amirite?

  8. Right on! Thank you for being brave enough to post this. So happy to see the words ‘pseudo science’ used on a horse blog (and my brain nearly exploded with the Bush comment).

    I had a farrier offer to use a ‘laser’ on my horses back cuz she apparently was out of alignment. Guess he didn’t know my husband works with lasers and I taught laser science at a museum when he pulled out the red flashlight! The first treatment is always free… LMAO!

  9. Oh please, really?? Obama has been a total failure, Bush would be an improvement. Lets leave the political comments out of it. You are gonna piss off half the people, no matter what you say. Contrary to what you may think, half the people think of Obama the same (if not worse) than you do w/Bush.

    I do NOT read this blog for political advise, but horsey info and snark. JMO!

  10. Next we will have crystal blankets, just think of all the
    Bling!!

  11. I hate this kind of pseudo-science. It makes me so freaking mad!!!!!!!!! Take your horse to a veterinarian with years of medical practice/training and science to back up their treatments? Na, I’ll take my horse to the guy in the next town who people say can heal animals with crystals! I wish James Randi could give his speeches on skepticism at various equine conventions.

    http://www.itsbraintime.blogspot.com

  12. You’re snarking on Bush getting elected twice when the foolish American voters put the current Socialist in office? Really? You girls need to read up on history. I’d suggest some research on how the commies took over Russia.

    But, I will agree with you on crystal healing being ridiculous.

    • You seriously think Obama’s a socialist? Dude! I grew up under communism so I get a little irritated when people throw around words without really (and I mean really, not just what the fear-mongering textbooks told you in North America) understanding them.

      Suffice to say that I may not like Obama either (I suspect for very different reasons from you), but let’s be reasonable here. It’s probably time to let go of fearing the commies. Again, personal experience here. They were never as scary or efficient as Americans seem to think they were.

      Tying it back to the crystal hocum … fear of socialism is kind of irrational. You know who’s socialist these days? Brazil (whose economy is doing rather well) and large swaths of Europe (which are not, but for entirely different reasons). Obama doesn’t even remotely fit the bill.

  13. Yes, I see the socialist/fascist/whatever labels thrown about by people who have NO IDEA what they are talking about. Aaaaaand even the guy who invented “trickle-down economics” (aka Reaganomics) has stepped forward and proclaimed it a wholly bankrupt theory.

    ANYWAY…. GAWD, I know this woman who’s into crystals. A friend of mine once dated her son (who’s since distanced himself from his crazy mother), and saw a very pretty crystal on a shelf. She exclaimed over it, then touched it. So Crazy Jan went apeshit and informed her that she’d somehow defiled the crystal, and it must now soak in salt for two weeks.

    This same woman now breeds TBs in a very backyard setting, along with exotic sheep. She had a mare that she couldn’t get down to a stud in KY, so she used some local (but nice) AQHA stallion, because you gotta keep those uteruses FILLED if you’re going to make the big bucks!! Sooooo now she has a 5-yr-old green broke (like, 30 days on him) Appendix colt that nobody wants. She tried to give him to me one day while we were in line together at the farm store. Who knows how many other random equines are on her property… but she sure has all their chakras balanced! She once offered me a martini at 10 a.m., too…..

    Last I checked, she made her main $$ by brokering food shipments to prisons or some kind of middleman position. She mostly worked out of her bathtub, drunk or close to it.

    She is still all New Agey, too…..

  14. Defender Of the Rock Lovers

    I’m a little suprised no one has said this already…. But let me start out by saying that while I know many people who would swear by the metaphysical properties of crystals, I’ve never heard of someone using a crystal on their dog/cat/horse/etc. It seems that everyone here who had an encounter with a “rock lover” have only experienced those that take it to the extreme. There are plenty of totally normal rock lovers out there, just so you know! There are people out there, myself included, who believe that if you are in tune with your personal energy, that the energy stored in these crystals can affect your aura. It’s more about slow, minute changes to your subconscious that you can’t see or feel. Anyone who tells you that crystals make instantaneous miracles occur is crazy, you have that part right. But you guys’ perception of crystals and the people who love them is totally bass ackwards and waysides.

  15. I actually do believe in some kind of effect crystals can have. I have them scattered throughout my home. But I wouldn’t tie them into my horses mane if I thought she was unwell, I would call the vet.
    And as far as a blanket with crystals, I’m sure someone must have tried it. I would take care of sick kids and families would bring in all kinds of stuff to keep close to the patient. You have to respect a different belief system.
    They now have all kinds of things with magnets in them. Years ago that was vodoo magic.

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