Yup, this seems like a good idea
We decided to take a detour from our usual craigslist hangout and ventured over to equine.com where we were immediately greeted with a zebra for sale. No joke.
RARE Trained, Sweet, Loving Zebra! $20,000
“Joey is a rare-ety and and certainly an eye-catcher. I have taken him to functions and demos and used him around the community. He is not dominant in the field, however, he does like to stut his stuff. I keep him in the horse fence with the other horses and he has never tried to escape or run away. When he does get out, he tried to come through the door! He has a lot of personality. I have yet to have a dull moment with him. Joey was used for professional model shoots. I also so happened to grab Joey just before HBO did. They intended on using him for a sitcom or show; not too much info on that though. I mostly ride him bareback with just a halter. He has been on trails with other horses and is afraid of nothing! He is the first to come to you in a field and likes to be handled. I have never had him buck or rear.
He is the most friendly animal that I have even been around.
He is very in your face and LOVES people.
I do ride hime in the arena and on the trails with a saddle and bareback.
He is a SUPER easy keeper!! (Kept on hay and grass all year)
He sucks on the side on your hand (photo 2)!
He does not like his ears being touched.
Because he is so in-your-face, it can be scary for non-horse people. “
|Foal Date||Jan 2005|
|Disciplines||Western Riding (Trained)
Trail Horse (Trained)
|Temperament||4 (1=Bombproof, 10=Hot)|
Yeah, he probably hasn’t tried to buck or rear with you on him because YOUR TOES HANG PAST HIS KNEES! Sweetheart, as skinny as you are, you’re too damn big for him! Doesn’t he look thrilled in the video? Usually we’d give someone hell for not wearing a helmet on an equine’s first ride, but in this case her feet are never more than 6 inches away from the ground, so we’ll let it pass. Plus in the comments his prior owners show up and claim that this is HER first ride on him, not HIS first ride. Hmmm…
Also, he’s “so in-your-face” because you haven’t put proper training into him and the fact that you think that behavior is ok, makes us wonder what kind of “horse person” you are. And hey, it looks like he does have a bit of a rear in him!
There were more pictures, but they seemed to be gravitating towards gratuitous shots of cleavage and long, blonde hair, so we left them out!
Anyone else catch that Joey’s disciplines are listed as western riding (trained), trail horse (trained) and halter (prospect). We were unaware there are halter classes for zebras. Perhaps they are more popular on the plains of Virginia [insert eye roll here].
We took a quick peek at wiki to see what they had to say about the domestication of zebras. Apparently it can be done! And has been since the 1900’s. But the reason riding zebras was never more than a fad for the rich and silly? Because these animals continue to live amongst lions (and tigers and bears, oh my!) and thus are considerably more unpredictable than horses and have a “tendency to panic under stress”.
So now that we’ve established riding a zebra isn’t completely insane, what is? Returning to Joey’s purported disciplines and price: For a mere $20,000 you can buy a beast of burden to ride in a western saddle on the trails that is significantly more likely to spook, bolt and just basically lose his shit. Sure, he’s a “rare-ety”, but he’s not that rare. There are zebra breeders in the US and they typically have animals starting at $3-4k. Twenty grand will get you animal that’s trained to do a lot more than walk grumpily around a ring with you on it’s back. Which is all you’ve shown this guy to do!
So basically you want $20,000 for what amounts to a lawn ornament. We admit, he’s adorable and could be a great lawn ornament with more, and consistent, training. But more likely than not another asshat (yup, we’re including the seller as an asshat) is going to say “Ooooh look! A zebra! I’ll be the only one I know with one of those! I must have it! My preciousssss.” And poor little Joey is going to end up in a stall or a field by himself with someone who doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Point of clarification, zebras are even more social than horses and need more space to roam (hi, plains animal!). Those zebra breeders we mentioned? Everyone we saw had big disclaimers about “Approved Home Only” and what additional needs a zebra would have as opposed to a domesticated equine. Some things to consider prior to purchasing a zebra can be found in this article (found it on an odd site though…). According to this short article, zebras need an 8 foot fence (to keep out rampaging sasquatches? sasquatchi?) and if your winter gets pretty cold, you should be prepared to snuggle up with your zebra to keep them warm on those long, cold, lonely nights.
Woohoo he’s HYPP negative! We’re shocked; we were certain Impressive bred a herd of zebras. Uh-oh, maybe he won’t make it as a halter “horse” then…
PS. Don’t forget the alt text! 🙂
Just some of the shit you should be prepared for should you decide to purchase a zebra: