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Dear Gawd Why?!


The sad thing is, for a craigslist ad this one’s pretty good!  Even priced about right!

“We have a 10 year old registered sorrel broode mare for sale or trade. Her registered name is POCO KING BAR DUNDEE. Her Sire(Father) is POCO PRONTO BAR. Her Dam(mother) is SKIPS RAVEN KEO.
She has been ridden in the past but we have raised two colts from her. She shoes, baths, and loads. She is a gentle horse and a very good mother.

we are asking $350 ob”

Top reasons to breed this mare:

  • She’s got a real purdy kolur
  • She’s got four usable legs
  • She ain’t doing anything else!
  • They’ve got an above ground pool
  • She looks like she might be the only horse on the property so clearly needs a friend (that one’s actually true, but we prefer an older, less vet-prone, friend than a baby)
  • She’s got a reeeeeeeal long back so there must be a lot of room in there for a baby right?
  • You can breed her to a good stallion and get a better conformed baby! Right? That’s how it works?
  • She’s registered

And the number one reason to breed this mare?

  • She’s got a uterus!

Ok, your turn!  Why would you breed this “lovely” mare?

Please answer using one of the following formats:

I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because…

or

I’m a backyard breeder who doesn’t have all my own teeth and would breed this mare because…

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About snarkyrider

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Posted on January 31, 2012, in Bad Horse Ads and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.

  1. johannapearl@gmail.com

    I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because…she looks to have one blue eye and thats REALLLY rare and makes her SPESHIAL.

  2. ’cause someone down at the Food O Rama told me that she had a real royal pedigree, with somebody called King, Three Bars, and a whole shootin’ match of other greats (if you look back far enough). Besides…all four of hr legs hit the ground at the same time, and with that back, I can fit all five of my kids on her at the same time…makes a great divin’ platform.

  3. Cuz right now she’s a bit rump high, y’ know, but soon them ankels on her back leggs will flatten down and then she’ll hev a real nise leval top-line.

  4. She looks so quiet and nice

    (un-sarcastically, she looks thoroughly miserable and depressed – what’s with that?)

  5. johannapearl@gmail.com

    All about following the “rules” lol… the approved format really spices things up 😉

  6. I’m an asshat and I would breed this mare cus she was listed for $350 but I talked em down to $200 and heck that arabfresialossa colt I got for free is soooo gental I know they would make a putty baby that i can sell to dem dar warmblood people for lots of money.

  7. I’m a backyard breeder who doesn’t have all my own teeth and would breed this mare because… Well gosh darn it, my Quarabawalkerloosabred stallion who’s been standing in my backyard for the last two years doin’ a whole heck of a lot of nothin’ has such a plain brown face, and this here pretty mare has such a nice blaze, that if I combined the two I might get a lil horse with like a star or something…. ooooh, and maybe a nice thick mane, cuz this here horse seems to have a nice long one, and my stud seems to have lost all of his either cuz he rubbed it all out, or premature balding. I’m gonna say it’s the premature balding though.

  8. I iz a bakyerd breeder wif sum missen teef en I wood breed hir to that there gypsum vanning stallion up the road cuz when the colt or philly is born is will have them furry feet that will hide them lough pastures she has and purdy spots! This one feller that I seen at that there aucshun said that them Gypsums was reel valuable! Also its gonna have that main that will cumpletely cover that stubby neck and common head that da mare haz! Iff’in I teach the foal all dat natrill horsemen stuff den da price will go way up!! Den i kin put up more barb wire fence and paint up a sign fer ma farm “Spots of Dreamz Farmand scrap metul dispozal!” All ma kin sez Im the brainz of da family!

    • Omg yoo mus be ma nayber cuz hes allays talkin lik dat. He ain’t got no phillys or guildings, only a coupla pit bulls. Also only a coupla teef.

  9. I’m a backyard breeder who doesn’t have all my own teeth and would breed this mare because her and a baby would make my backyard look extra purdy!

  10. I am breaking rank and not following format, but if this horse “shoes” man! Why wouldn’t we want more of them!! I want a horse that shoes! Cuts down on my farrier bills!

  11. I’m a backyard breeder who doesn’t have all my own teeth and would breed this mare because… she don’t has spots. I gots a 2 years old walkin colt stalion with spots his daddy had pappers. Now we just let him in with the mair and make money fur phool noodles!

  12. She should have a baby so she has someone to take care of her when she gets old! Oh, wait. That’s the argument people use on ME. I got nothin’. Carry on!

    • I hear ya, I get the the “oh, one day you’ll want a baby…” all the time. And I’m like NO, I’m pretty damn sure I don’t want one and even if you say it 54662163595 times I still won’t want one!

      Oh, wait, we were talking about mares… *runs*

  13. I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because… with that short neck I can just grab onto the ears to ride. No bridle needed!!

  14. Can’t y’all just take one look and see she’ll make a great broode mare?
    I aspecially like that her sire is named after a bar!

  15. Rockin RC Ranch

    I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because…..I am behind on my trailer house (that’s a house with wheels, ya know!) payment and can sell that there baby for lots of money and catch up! Might even be able to buy some yard grass clippings and feed my horses!

  16. PrettyPinkPrincess

    I’m a backyard breeder and have to breed this mare so my 12yr old can have a young horse with some spunk and train it all by herself. Barefoot, no helmet, cuttoffs, competing at 3 on barrels. But then we’d have to sell it cause my daughter would get knocked up.

  17. I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because…cuz that thair mair is roany n mebee she be a duny two. N she be wurf mor cuz she gots a wite fase. I hed sum 1 tel me dat meens she haz sumting kallt sabimbo..oh dat not rite um… sabeenu … yah dats rite. SO i ken get er nocked up by my brudders ex- gurl frends, moms bruthers cuzins colt that is sum kolor and dat we may haf to help him up on her cuz his legs don werk rite n he haz a hoof growing outta da top of his hed. so mebee she wud has twins. And den mai kidz can ridz da babies to skool na i don havta drive dem!!

  18. On a normal note…did anyone notice her legs and fetlocks.. is it just me or is she a bit Down in her fettocks??

    That neck makes her look like my saddlebred cross, well at least the second one does..

    and has anyone seen a horse with a hoof growing out of his head??

  19. I’m an asshat and would breed this mare ’cause I practice natural birth control with my natural horsemanship/rescue group.

    (@Carol She’s post-legged in the rear. Her pasterns have to flex extra hard to compensate for the lack of angulation in the hock/stifle.)

  20. I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because I heard that breeding a sorrel to a cremello = palomino every time, and that’s super shpeshal rare and worth a lot of money, right?


    Now for a real comment- Granted I’m not a registered AQHA user and can’t search their records, but… this mare is registered? Why, then, with the whole internet at my disposal, can I not find her or her sire ANYWHERE except here and Craig’s List? I cannot find a single mention of a stallion of any breed by the sire’s name. The dam does come up on allbreedpedigree.com, but the one foal listed is not this mare.

  21. I’m a backyard breader who don’t have all my own teeth and i wud bread this mare coz of her athletic built. with a back that long it wud be real easy for her to stretch over them jumps. i bet shed jump really far and them legs is short so it wud be real easy to get over the jump. my naybor has one of them there big hairy horses with the hare on its legs and its a amazin jumper 2 cos it jumps out of its padock every day. it hasnt hit the barbed wire yet so it much be really gud at jumpin. my neybor says his colt is a yearlin and he rides it all day so it wud have alot of that stamina 2 so its perfect for my buteiful athletic jumpin mare. my neybour says i can have a breading for just $50 so its a bargin, and it already bread with its dam so its definitly firtile. i can make one of them warmbred horses that r really gud at jumpin and stuff and sell it for $50,000 cuz every1 nos if you mix one of them skinny type horses wif one of them big hairy horses you get them expensif jumpin horses. the baby will be in the olympiks! im gonna be rich!!!!! im a genus!

  22. ” I’m an asshatand I would breed this mare because I can’t affort to feed a mare that is not producing a foal each year. I have not really added up the costs of stud fee, feeding the mare extra, vaccinations, possible vet bills, possible cost of registration and registry membership to get the foal registered, special foal feed until it sell, etc. – but I know if I add it all up I will still make a profit if I can sell the foal for $100. Hey! I just thought of something. If I breed two mares, I will DOUBLE my profit. Whoo hooo!”

  23. I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because…

    She looks just like the QH mare from the Breyer Classic Quarter Horse Family set (3 model horses available in the set: stallion, mare & foal) that I had when I was 10. And that mare’s baby was pretty, so I bet her’s would be too…

  24. HAhahaaaa! OMG, these comments had me crying with laughter! OMG! We’re watching Mother Trucker (About female truckers) and my mum’s like ‘Mads it’s not that funny!’ Ahhhh I’m jjust dying here!!!! Ok, breathheeeee XD

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