When studs bread; oh the horror

“Our horse is apx. 5 years old, he is fully broke and was originally used as a roping horse. We paid $1000 for him, and don’t really want to get rid of him; however he has bread our paint and has recently taken to abusing our new little philly. We are motivated sellers as we have no where to put him to keep them sperated. I am afraid he is going to seriously hurt the little one or worse… Breed with her. please give us a call at ######### . Prior to having the philly he was the sweetest most loving horse. We think he is jellous of the little one. Please make an offer. I can take more pic.s of him and send them to you via cell ph. if you’d like. “

You people are stu… reta… cra… fuc… insa… holy crap we just can’t decide what the best way to describe you is.

First off, you didn’t think that putting a stud in with a mare would produce a foal? At least, we’re assuming that’s what it produced.  It could very well be that this pairing produced a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Who knows?  Breading is a mysterious science.

HOW DARE HE ABUSE PHILADELPHIA?! Hasn’t that state endured enough already?  WHY?!!?!  Dear god, why?? Pick on another state already!  Philly’s had enough!

Why can you not separate them?  Can’t be bothered to string another line of barbed wire?  We feel ya.  It’s a lot of effort, especially when you could be sitting on your porch, sipping from a jug of moonshine while picking your nose.  Seriously, how could anyone expect you to put that on hold?  That’s important shit.   That is how global issues are solved.

Here’s an offer: How about you geld the fucker, he’s not worth anything as a stud, and save yourself a mound of vet bills.  (we offer wisdom, duh)


About snarkyrider

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Posted on February 3, 2012, in Bad Horse Ads and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.

  1. I just hope they don’t see this and think Pruning Shears (?) is the correct way to snip a horse. LOL.

    Good God. How brain dead can people be?

  2. SOOO Glad I sent you this one, I had to read about 5 times to make sure I read it right. Then *head desk, head desk, head desk*…Ouch headache!

  3. That hurt my heart. . .and my eyes. Basic biology people.

  4. What… I don’t even… why is… wha… ugh.


    And to top it all off? They don’t even say which damn horse it is *sigh* -_-

    • Obviously, it’s the dark bay eyeing the “philly” in unholy ways, preparing to abuse it. The one that is jell-ous (type of jell-o dessert anyone?) and in general the one that looks like a pedophile. No? Still not self-evident? The non-breaded non-paint.

      Wow. Happy Friday to us all, huh?

  5. Rockin RC Ranch

    HHmmmmm…….I have heard of a new phenominon call “breading” your cat, kinda funny, but didnt know horse breading was catching on as well. Who knew??? That “philly” will likely end up as a philly sandwich in her future, along with papa………….sigh………banging my head here…>( )

  6. A short course on basic sex ed could have cleared up a lot of this confusion on where babies come from…Of course, every time I feel like breading, I end up with a loaf cooling on the counter, not a bun in the oven…

  7. I once thought that, at a minimum, one needed to pass a basic grammar and spelling test before owning a horse. Now, I wish to throw sex education into the mix. If one fails to understand that Stallion A to Mare B = “Philly” C then . . .no. No horses.

    Or if the humans in the picture believe their horses will follow the same sexual restraints as they will, then again, No Horses. I have rescued a lot of babies from situations where people honestly thought their mare and stallion “wouldn’t do anything”. The worse case involved a yearling stud colt and a ten month filly, the latter pregnant because the owner didn’t expect them “to behave in such an adult manner” so they were turned out together . . .eeeeeeeek.

    I hate to say it, but many of these people professed to be very devout Christians. As I am one, I try hard to not paint anyone with a broad brush but it is becoming difficult. :/

    • Well, the bible goes on and on in many areas likening all sorts of sexual acts to animals. So… shouldn’t that kinda, you know, make the point? There are several passages that are the gist of “don’t be like the animals”. Or did they think that animals would not be like animals and only people would be? Hehe

  8. Can we geld the humans first? I can just envision me gelding some BYB’s with those shears…

  9. Um. Philadelphia is a city.

  10. Oh, I submitted this too! There must be some serious snarkyrider followers in the NW.

  11. This man’s local school system has failed him…and he now fails the world. This person needs a “tune-up” on basic reading and writing, sex ed, and business/econ. Why would anyone keep a stallion without a proper place to keep him? Why would anyone keep a stallion WITH A MARE and not expect a foal? Sad days.

  12. I love how obvious it is that this person really can’t understand that morality is strictly a HUMAN thing: “I am afraid he is going to seriously hurt the little one or worse… Breed with her.” It’s like the seller posted this ad because they don’t want the stallion to “sin”; I get the feeling that to him/her, allowing the stallion to “sin” is almost akin to committing the “sin.”

    If this kind of attitude exists, no wonder people can’t comprehend that “morality” is subjective, rather than absolute. 😛

  13. So that’s what stallions do. Who’d a thunk it eh Hoss. I bet that’s what the misses has been talking about for all these years; and here I thunk she was adopting them kids. Doh!

  14. It must be REALLY freakin’ hard to go out and drive in metal fence posts and run some hot wire or hot tape. Oh, I am sorry Live with Kelly is on, now news (gotta see the weather). Next is Jeopardy, Bold & the Beautiful, The Talk, Rachael Ray, Dr. Oz, Ellen or Days of Our Lives.
    Damn, my day is just too full to be fuckin’ around with horses. I’ll just go outside to give that bully a talkin’ to.

  15. Is it awful that this left me hungry? Bread…..nom. Philly…. Mmmm…..Philadelphia cheesesteak…..phyllo dough……yummm…..

  16. Well, at least it’s been clarified that Philly is NOT the 51st state. 🙂

  17. hey now, maybe the philly’s registered name is Cheesesteak. With peppers, onion, and mushrooms. Yum.

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