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Honkytonk Badonkadonk


“(Quarter Horse people) like big butts and I cannot lie” – teeheeee Thanks a lot, Sir Mix-a-lot! (watch the video and thank me later lol)

QH peeps, please explain it to me!  Because I truly don’t understand why this is the current breed ideal!  Functionally speaking these horses are practically useless!

Functionally speaking, this horse is useless.  Seriously, she’s 10 and is “broke, but really broodmare sound-gets a litte stiff”.  Excuse me while I go get something else that’s a little stiff – I mean a drink! Jeez! Get your minds out of the gutter 😉

“I can’t tell if it’s the hugeness of her body that makes her look like she’s standing on tooth picks or not, but either way, it looks like two (possibly three) different horses all on one massive body.  On top of all that, she is of course experiencing what the owner refers to as “stiffness” so she’s not ridable. Oh and guess what? She’s only ten. But of course, she’s a superior halter horse so you could breed her and they are selling her for the low, low price of 1200. Yes, you too could have yourself a cow on toothpicks and then have more tiny cows on toothpicks. What a deal!!”

That’s from Emily, who emailed us about this ad from Dreamhorse.  Maybe it’s just Emily and I, but this horse sure ain’t our dream!

You know what IS my dream?  TRUTH IN ADVERTISING! Hmm let’s see what a google search for “”Vanilla Money” horse” returned, shall we?

Apparently ‘Vanna’ was for sale back in 2007 for $6000!  Back then, not only was she worth more but she was apparently born in 2004!  See ad here.  Apparently her birth date has since changed – although not for the better.  Psst!  Note to seller!  If you’re going to lie about your horse’s age, make it younger than it is,not older!

The one thing Vanna has going for her?  According to the seller she’s HYPP NN (given that he’s already lied about her age I’d get that double checked!) but she does have that oh so desirable HYPP NH look.  *facepalm*

Updated this last part – I was wrong about the coloring.  Had never heard of “medicine hat” before.  Thanks to Whitney for her comment on color genetics 🙂

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About snarkyrider

We're snarktastic

Posted on February 28, 2012, in Bad Horse Ads, horse and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments.

  1. The horse is a mostly white paint. I see a red roan ear and red roan splash on her flank. She is indeed red roan. I do think she looks HYPP positive too. And she’s previously been crossed with an impressive bred stud so she probably has little HYPP “cows on toothpicks” clones running around. As for the big butts, they are practical for working quarter horses like roping and running horses. Halter bred horses are the ugly and useless muse of the working quarter horse. I don’t understand their purpose and I don’t understand how their legs got so small.

  2. “” Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes.”” ~ Chico Marx

  3. I always amazes me that a few of the sale ads in the QH Journal will proudly state that their horse can do both “Halter” and “RIDE”!!! Like it’s a choice, you can have either a horse that can stand still and trot like it’s crippled or you can have one that actually rides… but both is usually not an option.
    Think I will keep my Arabian. He’s 23, barefoot, has won both multiple halter and performance championshops, never had any medications or injections (other than usual vaccinations & wormers ) and is still 100% SOUND of mind, body, and soul!

  4. Ok Ok before everyone goes to bashing QH’s and Paints this thing is a monstrousity. Halter horses are FREAKS and while I do agree that these things should not be considered the “ideal” stock horse, not all QH’s are bad. In fact most are pretty awesome. I am partial to reining horses. Here is what I think an “ideal” AQHA/APHA mare should look like: http://slidingk.com/sales/details.php?id=237 and here is a pretty decent QH stud http://www.monnettperformancehorses.com/dually.htm Now they both are not PERFECT but they are alot closer than the Paint mare above. They are half the size of her, but twice the bone. They can actually move and get down low to do their jobs all day long with out breaking down. This mare can probably barely run around her paddock safely. I do wish that AQHA/APHA would do more to change what they seem to think and ideal QH is. Honestly, the halter horses these days, are truely a breed of their own. They are not ideal for anything. In all honesty, the majority of the QH’s that are seen and advertised these days are no longer the “Ideal” all around QH that once exsisted in the show ring. We have bred them to be very discipline specific, so that now there is anything from the huge Tank on bicycle wheels, the extremely tall TB type jumpers, to the short and wide cutters/reiners and everything in between. Some of the cutting horses I have seen are barely the minimum required height and are practically large ponies. Those horses are not ideal in the cutting pen either and, in my opinion, are unacceptable. AQHA Has started a class called Performance Halter and these horse are ALOT like the horses of “olden days”. They show in halter in the morning and work cattle in the afternoon while still being sound, sane, and a smooth ride. Here is a link to a guy that has some pretty decent All around horses that would be good in Performance halter: http://web.me.com/southwoodgraphics/Tim_Fitzgerald/Performance_Horses.html

    This all being said, I have had experience with several different breeds besides QH’s and I am just partial to them, but I dont constatly bash them. Every breed has its good points and bad points, but I am getting very tired of people always dogging stock horses. I can sit here all day and pick apart most breeds and point out something that is terribly wrong with them. Every breed has their freaks. I used to think that arabs were idiots, but I have since been enlighted and I must give kudos to the breed. I went to the National Show this year and was blown away. At least their Halter horses, conformationally wise, could go onto a riding career and not worry about breaking down. Now I dont know about their mentality after being “trained” to look completely scared out of their wits to look “charasmatic” but at least their body would hold up to almost anything you wanted to do with them. I say, if it is sound, sane, and willing, who the hell cares what breed it is.

    • Amber, you beat me to it! My foundation mare is well-built and a joy to train. I don’t get the halter ideal either. My mare is athletic as well as easy on the eyes. 🙂

  5. Well said Amber.

  6. I agree with Sadie here. She is a red roan with extreme sabino markings. It looks like a little red roan on her ears and her belly, but that is about it. She is also not grey but a paint horse. Now she may be registered as a QH because AQHA (like dumbasses) did away with their white rule, but she is not grey. Here is a good example of Sabino red roan http://www.scphc.com/2010roperrocks.htm Though he is another halter type horse, he actually is better balance and has decent bone and is HYPP N/N! I looked on their home page and he actually has some pretty decent babies that are built nice, but are still completely rideable. Their site is chocked full of red roan sabinos.

  7. Very well said Amber! Sliding K is gorgeous by the way, man oh man… I have a QH and am proud to own her, I doubt I’ll ever own another breed. We have a Quarter/Arab cross and we were told when we bought him that sometimes he has Arab days and sometimes he has QH days. I am not kidding, you can see the difference! He’s been a great confidence builder for my boyfriend but after he’s seen my 4 year QH mare he’s sold on QH’s as well.
    I do not agree with the gimpy broken horse gait that I see in the QH world however and I wonder where that ever came from or what moron it was that made that popular OR desirable. It’s not, I’d be embarrassed to ride something like that in a show ring. We were at a local schooling show here a few weeks ago and there was some ‘hot shot’ QH trainer there with his horses and he was so obnoxious it was unbelievable. He’s ride the opposite way of everyone else, he’d sit in the middle of all the schooling people and bark at his trainees on how to handle their horses, then he’d ride his horse around, at some points the horses face was smacking the wall as he went around and neither he nor the horse cared, all he did was hold his reins up above his head.
    When my boyfriend and his horse went trotting by the trainers horse spooked and he almost got knocked off because he was paying so little attention to anything around him other than looking down at the horses rear. I was so unimpressed. Then as if it were funny the guy did this huge loud over actor laugh and slapped his thigh like it was some big joke or something.
    I got a horse so that I could go do trail competitions and so we could trail ride. My little girl is my dream horse, she goes everywhere, she never hesitates, I toss her lead over her back and say in ya go and she waltzes right into the trailer, she stands quietly when I tack her up and mount and she’s always down for a nice long ride when I am. I couldn’t ask for more. Plus I think she’s perfectly shaped! 🙂

    • Thanks Ilene. Yeah Sliding K has some really nice horses. She is my old trainer and I just lover her. Kim is an excellent Non Pro trainer and does her best to make sure the right horse goes to the right rider. She is very much unlike the trainer you are describing. She is always positive and never condecending. I am guessing you are talking about a “pleasure” horse. Dont even get me started on them. Though I have been allowed to ride a couple of world class bred pleasure horses that were like butter to ride. They truely were a pleasure. The secret, they rode these horses outside of the arena, and they werent pushed hard when they were younger. They were ridden in a pasture, around rocks and trees and behind cattle. They were allowed to learn to travel out and be a horse. One of them was a stud that won or got reserve the year I went in the pleasure classes. He was just gorgeous to watch and was a joy to be around. And yeah that trainer sounds like and ass hat all the way. There is a reason a “big time” trainer was at a local show there. It is because he really isnt that much of a bad ass in the big time show world; so to keep his people training with him, he went to a place where he would be the big fish so to speak. If those people are smart they would leave his ass. I never did understand why people pay thousands of dollars to a trainer to yell at them, tell them how bad they are doing, and just continue to f-up their horses. I had one trainer do that to me and he was fired immediately after the show. He seemed to forget that it was ME that was paying him…I was the BOSS! Most stock horses these days, that arent shown, are not necessarliy conformationally exceptional, but their brain and heart are. They are just solid as can be. I think that is what I love about them more than any other breed. They are just solid through and through.

    • It’s grey. It has a brown ear. Grey. That gross, ill-bred, p.o.s is grey. When you have a horse with crappy conformation, piss poor gaits, and already broke down at 10…. Then it doesn’t deserve a fancy color name. You want to call that white thing Red Roan, then go for it, but imo it’s just an ugly white-ish color. Red roams have actual color. They make people stop and say “what the heck color is THAT?”. Not say “golly, if I squint I can sort of make out a very, very light brown spot on the tip of its ear.”

  8. She is a red roan Overo/Tovero…possibly Sabino carrier…looked her up on APHA, she is a 2002 foal, and still under the same owner. He is apparently a moron.

  9. I think she IS a red roan, she just looks like a maximum overo. (I think she has other white genes present, too like tobiano or sabino).

    Big butts are good on some QHs. Its really the overall over muscling on teeny legs that is the problem.

    • I thought paint people valued color? (serious question, trying to learn about that side of the horse world 🙂 )

      • I think its not that much about color now. A good amount of horses you see competing now are breeding stock (aka we got no spots). Then there are people who want to get a loudly expressed paint. Some people love maximum expressed horses, others like more average spotting. Most of the people I know prefer the “average” spotted horses (think 4 white legs, a blaze, and some white splotches).

  10. Mia, she’s a paint. There isn’t any grey on that mare. She is roan and white. She was born that color, Had she been born grey, she would have been darker and gotten lighter over the years.

  11. I am not going to debate conformation, etc. but I am a color genetics expert. Self-proclaimed, but still. I have spent 15 years learning about color, modifiers, and everything in between because I just find it a fascinating subject. Color begets breed and this mare is NOT GREY. Lets just take away the painted part of her for a minute and pretend that she is solid colored. She would be a sorrel, most likely with a sabino modifier (judging by the Sullivan’s Heathen line, which produces a prolific number of sabinos) that would have roaning throughout her coat, in the flanks, etc. but not be a traditional red roan that changes with the seasons. She will never, ever produce a grey foal if bred to a non-grey stallion because she does not carry the modifier for grey. She is an overo and has extreme characteristics. Some folks might call her a medicine hat. I would say she carries both the frame and the sabino genes which mades for the extreme expression of her color. She may also have a tobiano gene, which even greatens the expression of the white parts of her coat. At any rate, she is a very neat example of coat color genetics if nothing else :-).

  12. If you cut her off her legs at the stifle and elbow, and look at her body, the picture isn’t too bad (not sure I like her head though). But those legs are completely wrong for that body.

    I have an top AND bottom Impressive bred gelding who is HYPP N/N (have the DNA results) with a big ol’ booty, but his legs are nicely proportional to the rest of him and his feet aren’t tiny little pegs either. Maybe I just got super lucky.

  13. I rode QHs back in the 70s and they were held up to the world as the most versatile breed of horse. And they all looked reasonably related, even the racers. Nowadays there is a specific physical type that judges are looking for for each class (western pleasure, western riding, HUS etc) so they have devolved into many different breeds all under the QH banner. I think this is a shame and toothpick legs and heads down to their knees are only two of the reasons that I wouldn’t have one.

  14. I too had a great old Poco Pine working QH mare way way back in the day. She was the steadiest safest most versatile horse I have ridden to date. She was just awsome, the young girls who bought her from me also loved her to death. Those kind of tough sturdy old type ranch horses are getting tougher and tougher to find. If I run into 1 for sale at a good price I do not hessitate to pick them up. They are GOLD! The good old breeding Still produces some of the best horses anywhere I think.

  15. Here’s a quick way to determine if you have a gray horse or a white pattern: Grays have DARK SKIN. They also don’t have ears that mysteriously avoid heading. That’s known as medicine hat which is an overo pattern. Assuming her ears are roan that is indeed a red roan overo – which makes the owner correct and you an ignorant asshat. If you’re not even going to attempt to research what you’re talking about, please just stop.

  16. My old AQHA gelding (that I had euthanized before coming to Hawaii last year) was 14.1 hands, solid and Tuffernhel, King & Pretty Pokey bred on one side and Nowata Star, Pretty Pokey, Pit Boss,& Music Mount on the other. “Old school” lines as my old cowboy friend used to say, “That horse is bred to have been there, done that.”

    • My 30 year old gelding has Tufferenhel in his background. He is definitely a tough old guy and acts like he is 3. I have no respect for the halter horses these days. Look back about 30 years and you have quarter horses that won in halter, won in racing and won in ranch type classes and they were all the same horse.
      BTW, the horse in the picture is APHA (paint) and her ad states that as well.

      • Yep my gelding was 30 when I put him down last summer. Clear up til his last breath Cody was full of himself. He had several medical issues that IF I had been staying on the mainland, I’d have continued plunking the $500 or so per month into him, (including the cost of constant senior feed since he had few teeth and couldn’t chew grass or hay) and he could have had a few more years of retirement. BUT being a military family, when this duty station arose we tried everything to stay, but family over horses won out. So instead of shipping him off down the road to who-knows-where-he’d-end-up (I was worried those who graciously said they’d take him would suddenly get tired of his high maintenance costs and “dump” him for a few hundred somewhere),I put him in the ground so I know EXACTLY where he is and that he isn’t in pain anymore. My other horses found wonderful, forever homes with close friends.

  17. I was in australia when I was 16/17 years old, and they had a QH there, probably an Appendix, although at the time they were called “racing Qh’s”…
    That poor horse had a butt the size of Montana.. and it was flabby and just seemed full of fat.
    I wish that breeders would breed for a standard, not a type, such as halter, reining, racing… it doesn’t matter if the horse is a stock breed, or warm blood new breed of the week.
    People are finding types in almost every breed now, the specialization will cause more problems than it will ever solve…

  18. wanna pick on a halter arab? got some great potos of my old mare…… freaky arab trainer included!

  19. I will have to agree with you Snarky, this is definitely not my dream horse, lol. These days I’m a dressage rider, but my first horse was a paint and we did all the 4-H stuff including halter and he was the best horse a 15 year old girl could ask for. He, of course, looked nothing like this. Most recently I was riding a 25 year old QH for a friend and guess what? Totaly sound at the age of 25. He is stocky in the way that QH’s were meant to be stocky. He’s got a butt and he can use it! Not to mention how much I love the qh/paint brain/personality. Smart and willing (in general). But I digress. My point is, what the h*** happened in the last 20 years to make this monstrosity something worthy of breeding and dare I say desirable in some circles??? And what decent broodmare is only worth 1200? She is not good for anything. I doubt she would even stay sound as a trail horse. There are decent all-around QH’s and paints out there but this girly ain’t one of ’em. And what makes the maddest about this particular add is the owner trying to pawn her off on someone else to continue the cycle of fugliness.

  20. Having been a kid who had my nose in horse books since I was able to hold them upright, it always surprises me some of the things people don’t know because they’ve not looked far beyond their discipline. The medicine hat being one of those. After all, there was that Marguerite Henry book San Domingo, The Medicine Hat Stallion. But color and breed knowledge are two things I prided myself in as a kid… and being an artist it makes sense.

    I certainly wasn’t thinking in the gutter with that comment, unless it was in a gutter where one might find a stick to beat people. Yep. Totally thought thats where that was going.

  21. I think if she had some weight off of her, and a proper hoof angle she would look a lot better. I kinda like her.

  22. The rescue I volunteered at last year had a QH who suffered from such pain due to his conformation that he had to be put down.

  23. I call it HBS – Halter Butt Syndrome. The feet put me in mind of the ancient Chinese foot binding practices; dainty and useless. I remember our farrier telling me that all those halter horses do is stay in the stall; no running, playing, nada. He said half the time the shoes were glued on as there was not enough hoof to nail. Wow.

    That photo made me think of cellulite and sunburn…who could ask for anything more?
    Yeesh.

  24. UGH. That poor, poor, misbegotten mare. I have always hated the “OMG its tail is sliding off its ginormous melting butt” look that is common to the HYPP horses. Those legs. Her spindly, straight little legs. And how much you wanna bet that if she were fitted for showing, her uninspiring neck would be squished/sweated into a straight, archless stick as well?

    I love quarter horses for many reasons, and I am super offended by the breeders, trainers and judges who’ve taken an awesome all-around working breed & turned it into a gallery of horrors – from Halter (and those weird lungeline classes) to Western Pleasure to Hunter Under Saddle.

    I will never ever EVER understand the feed ’em & lead ’em classes. No matter what breed you’re talking about, it’s a total freak show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are rich owners out there who want to pay “trainers” (glorified grooms with a repertoire of horrible tricks) to lead their monstrosities around and think it’s simply too glamorous for words, but… a horse that can’t be ridden? What a waste of $$. Even if it’s being ridden by somebody else, to own a champion performance horse (and I do NOT count Western Pleasure as “performance.” That used to be a term reserved for truly athletic pursuits.), whether it’s reining, cutting, roping, show jumping, dressage or whatever, THAT means a whole lot more than breeding these freaks that look nothing like useful animals. Which is, after all, why animals were domesticated in the first place. Dog shows are just as bad.

    I swear I want to beat rich halter horse owners over the head with 4H judging manuals.

    Aaaaand… the more we learn about color genetics, the more I wish that AQHA/APHA would simply be rolled into ONE registry, and anything expressing some sabino simply noted as such on its papers. This whole Victorian notion of “color purity” is so silly.

    To me, an ideal Quarter Horse isn’t too different in build from an old-time Morgan, a solid field hunter who’s decently handy, a “sprint-bred” TB, an Andalusian or a Polish Arab. Sure, there are size & type distinctions, and of course individual variations that make an animal more inclined to certain athletic talents, but the overall neatly compact, workmanlike effect of conformation geared toward general performance longevity is pretty common to any horse, of any breed.

    The extremes we see in halter or certain outstanding – but VERY specialized, and possibly very limited – individual equine athletes, those are like the extremes of Michael Phelps, Heidi Klum or even Franz Liszt (his hands were freakishly loooong).

  25. ::Takes a breath:: Pro-slaughter peeps refer to these horses as “lead to feed”. That’s the reference I got today from someone. Sigh.

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