Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the FUGLIEST of them all!

I’ve had a umm few ads sent to me this week (thanks guys!) and I thought instead of hearing me rant about them all, or potentially missing some and not ranting at all, here are the pics from their ads (click the pics to take you to the ads) and I want to know who you think is the fugliest!

Rank the fuglies!

1.  Our first contestant is a (possibly) parrot mouthed, 3 year old H/H stud who will be shot if someone doesn’t buy and geld him.

Also “Coon and pigeon toed. Feet are a problem so might need special shoes.”

2.  Contestant number two is a Gypsy Vanner/Appaloosa cross – do I really need to say more?

I suppose I could comment on the draw/side rein perversion being used WHILE JUMPING!!! -hopefully in conjunction with real reins, but if they’re there they’re masters at hiding!  And oh good gawd that horse is not black! “Carly is PITCH BLACK” NO! SHE’S NOT!  For the bargain price of $14,000 you can “Ride her, breed her or just look at her” FML.

3.  “she is hatler broke”

4.  Contestant number four is an APHA stallion, free to good home as he “has a lung condition that limits the amount of work he can do” but he has “produced many beautiful babies”. Uhuh.

5.  Ok, the ad is actually for this foal’s sire, but how could I not include this?  Poor little mini baby!

6.  I’m sorry sir, you’ve confused a pony with a CAMEL!

“he looks like a pure breed but no nothing about ponys” – yeah, no shit!  Nailed the hammer right on the head there now didn’t ya?

7.  This mare is for sale but there is literally no information about her in the ad!


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Posted on April 6, 2012, in Bad Horse Ads, Conformation and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 57 Comments.

  1. designerchick2

    I think number 6 looks more like a buffalo. Poor baby

  2. Concur with designerchick2. #6 is actually a member of a little-known subspecies of pony-like bison, originally discovered by researchers from the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople.

  3. Actually, the lack of tan around #2s muzzle tells me that genetically she IS black, just very sun-faded.

  4. Poor pony. Also that last horse has a special levitating talent.

    Also that poor gypsy cross has a tortured look in her eye. Her rider is ignorant and cruel. It’s so obvious that horse can’t jump – she’s not built for it. The draw reins make my brain bleed.

    • I beg to differ about the jumping – my sister’s cob (Gypsy Vanners in the states) was able to jump over a meter! and my cob mare has a wonderful jump. Generally a well put together cob can do just about anything

      • True, but THIS poor girl is really struggling.

        Plus she just looks desperate.

      • Identity Crisis

        the Vanner cross could probably jump 3 ft and under if the rider had a little bit of talent and a proper jumping saddle. Her sloppy crotch on the pommel; long leg sliding back; long stirrup; laying on her hands and rounded back make her a nearly impossible burden to bear over a fence. She is to jumping what I am to grammar.

        Jumping +draw reins + dressage saddle = Dumbass! Do the dumbasses learn anything from negative posts about them? Sadly, no as far as I know.

    • I remember seeing her original ad (Dreamhorse I think) a few years ago. Supposedly that poor Gypsy cross was two.

      I posted her on the bad_riding livejournal, along with a few other pictures of her.

  5. Draw reins attached to the side is actually not incorrect. Draw reins used while jumping, however, is. And I don’t see regular reins either.

    • To the side, yes, but not to the girth, as far as I know. How do you even attach side reins to the girth, anyway?

    • I see draw reins being improperly used ALL. THE. TIME. Like, over 95% of the time.

      This whole picture is made of FAIL, though that horse is hella cute. Not $14,000 cute, mind you. Especially not how she’s presented by ignorant peoples.

      Maybe $1400 cute, if she’s not too ruined by shitty riding.

  6. 1. Someone please go get him and put him down humanely. Seriously. This guy, even as gelded pasture ornament, is a liability and will become expensive to deal with down the road. He is a terrible accident waiting to happen. While you are at it, try to hunt down the dipshits that own his mother and father and slap them upside the head.

    2. OK she really isnt that bad looking and is pretty solid and cute and at least she rides. But the price, no way and I am not even touching the draw reins while jumping. Someone please go hunt this gal down and slap her upside the head as well as who took the picture because dammit they should know better, and if not they need to be taught!

    3. WTH? Why would you take a picture like that. Seriously do the expect to get any legit inquires on her…Oh wait it is craigslist, there is not much that is legit about that. And i am sorry, I would look the same way if someone came out and tried to take a picture of me out in the rain and obviously didnt have any feed for me. I would be a little pissy too.

    4. Someone please go get him and geld him…NOW…and then have him be a companion or something but please no more babies.

    5. the link went back to the previous horses’ s, but that poor looking thing. I would still take him home and make him a pet or something. At least he isnt a dwarf.

    6. This is what happens when your mare gets out and goes slumming. She has a Camel-buffalo-pony creature that is so fugly it should be donated to science and studied as to how a creature like this was even possible to create. Kind of reminds me of Eeyore, but even his cartoon conformation was better than this.

    7. Whoever owns all of these horses and is reproducing them…well as my them seems to be today…they need to be hunted down and some sense knocked into them. theyare just crossing a fugly to another fugly. I would HATE to see what the babies look like. Geld the stallion and quite breeding. Your “breeding goals” really need to be re-evaluated or just stopped all together. BLECH!

  7. I think #7 has a special talent for levitating and casting no shadow- A vampire paint mare! That’s pretty speshul! Why didn’t they at least mention that!!

  8. I can’t vote for most fugly, because all of these examples just make me very sad. I do think that the bison/pony is so cresty that the neck has fallen over. Poor thing must be in so much pain now. The stupidity of the owners of most of these is just overwhelming.

  9. #6 Would be cute.. except for the fact that someone allowed the poor creature to become crestfallen. 😦

  10. #4 “Could possibly find out more with vet attention.” Head/desk

  11. 1. The breeding of N/H horses is one of my biggest pet-peeves (although that seems like an understatement) and this guy is the reason why. As for being a fugly, he is low on the list, he’s actually quite cute. But he is a horse that should never have been in the first place.

    2. This mare is actually really cute. And it seems like she is a pure bred gypsy, but they bred her to an Appy (at least that’s how the add read to me). I’m not sure why that would be a good cross, but whatever…. the fact that she is jumping in drawreins AND no helmet makes smoke come out of my ears. Drawreins are a wonderful tool when used right. I would just like to say, “Your’re doin’ it wrong!!!”

    3. I want to take this poor mare back to my barn for some TLC and a nice grassy pasture. She ties with #6 for the most pathetic/saddest.

    4. He’s not a bad looking horse. I can’t figure out why they thought he deserved to keep his manhood though. It sounds to me like he has heaves.

    5. Poor thing! He gets the fugliest award in my book. The number of things wrong with this little guy are just too numerous.

    6. Saddest camel-buffalo-pony I’ve ever seen. Wait, I think he’s the only camel-buffalo-pony I’ve ever seen. That being said, I would rank this guy at 2nd place for the fugliest award.

    7. Some of the worst photo shop jobs I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t figure out what’s going on with this mare’s topline, but something doesn’t look right.

    • Actually, they didn’t breed her to an appy, she apparently carried an LP gene (YES this exists in Gypsys) which she inherited from her mother, DJ Apple, who I’m assuming from her name comes from Desert Jewel Gypsies, one of the few breeders in the US who is DOING IT RIGHT. The ONLY thing wrong with that ad is the draw reins, and that maybe she’s priced a little low, assuming her dad wasn’t a piece of junk.

      • The Lp gene is actually quite common in the English and Irish cobs and I once knew one who was a beautiful false few spot. (Almost bought him too and would have if he hadn’t had a suspicious cough…and I did the right thing, poor guy had heaves).

        The reason is a long standing British superstition that striped hooves are stronger and of better quality than plain hooves. The Lp gene causes striped hooves, so it tends to be bred on. Thus, pintaloosa cobs are fairly common, although many do not have any PATN genes and thus lack actual Appaloosa spots…they just have the striped hooves and the mottled skin.

        • I haven’t done any research because I’m at work, but I’m assuming by the names that this mare’s grandsire is DJ Apollo, a bay leapoard and one of the most exceptional stallions I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know, very well built, forward and athletic. When I get home, I have to see if I know any other relatives because now I’m curious.

        • Heh… my AQHA mare, who had a good dose of TB not far back, had striped hooves, some skin mottling AND a very pronounced scleara. She was also solid, solid chestnut. Well, she had about a dozen white hairs on her forehead, as if she’d “tried” to have a star, and whenever she got a boo boo, the hair would come back a lot darker.

          No App. in her lineage so far as we could tell.

  12. #6 has it – but #7 is pretty poorly photoshopped. Hard choices…hard choices

  13. C’mon now- that paint mare can LEVITATE, surely that’s worth something?

    FWIW, I think the hump on number six is just the mane getting blown by the wind…

    • #6
      Poor guy is crestfallen. Someone probably let him get obese and then someone else decided to “thin him down” too fast.
      He could have likely foundered at some point too, I bet. Most crestfallen ponies that I’ve known were IR and had a history of founder.

      • So THAT is “crestfallen.” I never really thought about the genesis of that word. Now it all makes sense!! Cool.

        Poor pony.

        I was at Hoosier Horse Fair last year, and they had an older Welsh cob stallion who was super cute, but really tubby and his crest was starting to flop over. It was kind of gross.

        His rider was doing “dressage” and had his poor little neck waaaay overbent. Y’all know how I feel about that. 😛

  14. I’ve decided that picture 7 is actually an illustration from a horse game…

    …and not one I’d play.

  15. The first stallion….I just don’t have words for him.

    The mini foal….( I have minis ) many foals look like this at birth, but things usually improve given a little time. Tendons tighten, chests get wider and everything grows into proportion by about 3 months.

    The buffalo/pony I think actually just has a broken crest. It often happens in older minis/ponies whose too heavy mane is allowed to put a strain on the crest muscles until they flop over, making the withers look like they stick up more than normal. Once the crest breaks, there is no fixing it.

    Imagine if the leg-hanging, draw-reined horse tripped, how could the rider help the horse, when the only reins being used are draw reins? An accident just waiting to happen. It could be black (certainly not a RARE color), but just not a true, non-fading black, but a fading black, which turns brownish in the sun.

    No wonder the rain-soaked, muddy horse has a lung condition. Who would have guessed? Poor sad guy. He doesn’t look much happier under saddle either.

  16. Coon footed and pigeon toed? It’s a miracle #1 can still walk. Guarenteed he won’t be walking within a few short years even if those years are spent as a pasture ornament.

  17. Leanne Motley

    Gonna show my lack of education here. What is coon footed? I am assuming that pigeon toed is just like a human. I also know what parrot mouthed is. For the life of me Coon footed? Do they hold their food and wash it before they eat?

    I would take the rain soaked one just to get it some food and to have a dry shelter. Saddest thing I have ever seen.

    I just want to give the fuzzy baby a hug. Baby also needs hooves trimmed. Or is he/she going to grow that way to adulthood?

    • Coon footed is when the angles of the feet and pastern don’t match – the pastern is very sloped and the foot is very upright. So it looks like the have a funny short hoof way out in front of their leg. As for why it’s called coon footed, beats me. Maybe someone else knows the story behind that.

  18. Re: #1 – argh, ever since the mis-named colour silver dapple became generally known, every ignorant seller of an ordinary dapple grey now claims that the horse is – a silver dapple! Woo hoo – not.
    Re: the Mini foal – the feet are normal for its (very young) age. They look a little pointy but that is to facilitate the birth process, and being only a day or two old (probably), the foal is still walking on its pasterns – soon it will become more upright. It is not a dwarf, BTW – the rumpled look of its forehead is just due to its longish baby coat – Mini foals look like powder puffs when little. Actually, that little guy/gal is probably going to be quite tall – check out the length of its canon bones.

    The fugliest? That poor pony. Along with the soggy mare, it needs to be taken to somewhere with a very nice pasture, cleaned up, fed right and loved on.

    • Silver Dapple is that sort of sooty palomino/flaxen mixed with black/brown color, right? It’s a super cute color, but dapple gray, it AIN’T.

  19. Hey, nobody said anything about the “sejurs” that #1 may have. hahahaa!

  20. I vote #6 for fugliest, and I really wish I could take #3 home with me.

  21. I honestly think that #3 should win the ‘best facial expression’ contest. I mean seriously… that is a photo going in my ref pictures for grumpy pony faces. It says so much!

    I’d steal her away in a heart beat if’n I could!

  22. That was very entertaining Thanks SR. Amber you cracked me right up.

    #1 is the Fugliest and needs to be euthanized, as a kindness to him and for the safety of the entire Horse Nation.

    The remaining are in various states of dejection, either due to ignorant owners or equally ignorant breeders. through no fault of their own,

  23. Leanne Motley

    Thank you Angie and Fredred. That pict made me inwardly groan. God, that looks at the least uncomfortable. At the most in pain all the time. No holding your food and washing it first with those hooves. If it is as painful as it looks, I think i would be laying down all the time to relieve the pressure.

    I can now add this to my arsenal of what to look for when looking at a horse.

    Still want to take a towel and some treats to the rain-soaked horse.

    • That picture actually looks more like a horse with DSLD, which is a deteriorating condition of the tendon, not a result of conformational angles the horse is born with. This is a better illustration of coon footed.

      The kind of swelling you see in the picture of the DSLD horse is indicative of a lot of soft tissue damage. Riding a coon footed horse harder than it is capable of can certainly cause soft tissue damage, but it’s not the same thing as DSLD.

  24. destiny3rdchance

    I want to take #3 away with me and spend one week just grooming her and feeding her, and then if she is ready, start some groundwork. I have a feeling there is a nice riding horse under all that mud and rain. Poor baby.

  25. #1 They really should put him down humanely.

  26. These are the kind of people i really hate…..They make or get these horses then expect someone else to take care of their problems…

  27. I think camel pony number 6 actually has a mofo crest that is being weighed down and tilted towards the camera by his mane (I have seen it before *head desk*), making his neck with that high wither look so retarded, although I suppose without it weighed down it’d still look retarded ha.

  28. Like this bit of the first ad. (sejurs???, Framiliar??? recomend???) Just sayin’





  29. There is nothing wrong with the grey/white miniature pinto. My miniature came out looking like that and he is now an attractive and very well conformed cart pony. It so terrified me when he was born windswept one direction up front and another behind and with that big dome head I had the vet visit him who assured me that is a very common appearance for newborn miniature horses.

  30. For full price of the Gypsy you get to let her get boned by a buckskin stallion of the now owners choice!! No name, bloodline, or photos to at least GUESS confirmation of him… but its like two for the price of one!!! WOOOO Sounds like a steal to me!

    And wouldnt you cut #1 ASAP due to the fact that you could not get an HH without both parents being AT LEAST nH? Which means that the horse would automatically have nH at a minimum!? (well the largest % of being nn is 25% ONLY if both parents are nH)…. and there is your biology lesson of the day… Nerds dont belong online, or with horses 😦

  31. I’m allmost allways sorry for the Fuglies. They didn’t ask to be born, and their life isn’t going to be like a PikBub son’s. It will likely be rough, painful, dirty and come to a bad end. I too want to take the rain soaked horse home, give her a good hot scrub with MicroTech/ surgical scrub and leave her under a hot lamp to dry off. That doesn’t look like a healthy slick coat.

  32. #2 is actually a purebred Gypsy, not a Gypsy cross. The crazy woman that owns/bred her is a well known dog hoarder. As far as the filly, she was only 2 years old when she was being jumped like this….. She’s black, just sun faded, but the reason she looks so tortured in her eye is because she’s being worked too hard for her young age. I contacted the owner about it privately, but was told that she didn’t care what it did to the horse that it was the best way to make her sell quickly. 😦

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