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WD-WTF: Good gawd it’s a llamel!
It’s been a while since we featured a doppelganger…
http://www.horseclicks.com/amhr_miniature_paint_colt/advert/122959
llamel = llama + camel
Weiner horse v2
You know those tables where you can insert a “leaf” when company’s over and all of a sudden your 4 person dinner table seats 8? Oh, ok good. You do know. Nope, didn’t bring it up for a reason. Thought just popped into my head, that’s all.
Hi, and thanks for stopping by. I’m just a little horse who wants to be looooooooooved. I somehow managed to win my current owners a championship and yet they still want to be rid of meeeeeeeee. I’m not sure why. Sure, it could have something to do with the fact that my front end and hind end are in different time zones, but no one’s that superficial, right? Looks aren’t impooooorrrrrrrrtant. (But conformation is, or at least should be.)
Now, when you come to pick me up, please be sure to bring a full size trailer – none of that ‘oh it’s just a mini, it’ll fit in my van!’ stuff, because I won’t. As you can see from my photo, I’m incredibly loooooooong.
All kidding aside, this little girl is for sale!
“2003 smutty buckskin mare. 33”. AMHA/AMHR. Gorgeous mover- amazing driving potential. Multi Champion halter mare. Easy to handle, loves to show.Daughter of world famous BTU- one of the top stallions in the industry! “
I was going to keep it going with the horse-talking-bit but then I saw that she is described as a “smutty buckskin”. Really? “Smutty”? There weren’t a hundred other words you could have used? You had to accuse her of being unwholesome? How dare you impugn her character in such a manner. You have practically accused her of being a harlot! A Jezebel even! It’s downright hurtful. At least provide proof! Until we see her in scantily clad halter we flat out refuse to believe it!
————-
Alright, just to be clear, the owners have every right to sell her or any other horse. And while I have made a snide comment about that, I don’t reeeeaaaaallllly mean it. In case it’s not clear yet, this horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrse is long. That’s it. That’s the point of this post. Thanks for coming! See y’all tomorrow!
Juuuuuuuuuust kidding. While she isn’t specifically being marketed as a broodmare, how many championship winning mares do you know that go on to be happy little lawn ornaments? NOT MANY! The likelihood of some jackass trying to squeeze a baby outta this mare is pretty damned good.
At least this little mini looks better than the last Daschund x miniature horse-thing!
ps. her eyes freak me out!
Equine Centipede!
We saw this photo and were instantaneously reminded of the god awful horror film The Human Centipede. *shudders* We’ll be sleeping with the lights on for awhile.
Of course, if that idea wasn’t bad enough, we’d still have the ad text to give us nightmares.
I have a fantastic morgan for sale.His name is Ricky and is gelded.He will go anywhere. He does gymkhanas, barrel races, swimming, trails and shotting a gun off his back.He rides western. He has his rabbies shots.Over the summer my son rode him threw my neighbors pond.Anybody can ride him.He goes everywhere.He will ride on any trailer and wont spook to go on any trailer.He is a fantastic horse.I have to get rid of him.
Hes the one on the left.
I’m soooo glad he has his rabbies shot – rabbies is such a big concern around here! Of course, info on his height or age might be even more useful. How sad is it that the fact that he’s gelded is a legitimate selling point? Wooo! He’s not another stallion running amok! *face palm* And sweetie, the correct way to end one sentence and then start another is with a period and then a SPACE, then the next sentence. Try it with me! Sentence. Sentence. Sentence. See? It’s not so difficult!
Don’t worry everybody, it gets better! This isn’t the original ad – apparently the son was trying to offload poor Ricky himself first.
I have 2 fantastic morgans for sale.I have a 25 year old Morgan named Ricky, he is completley Bombproof.You can do anything with him like barrel racing, Gymkhanas,trails, swimming and shooting a gun while your on his back.Over the summer i went swimming while on his back in a neighbors pond.
I also have a 8 year old morgan named Spencer. He is a little Green. But would be a nice trail horse. He will go any where you ask him to go. But spencer hasn’t been riden in a year. So he will be a little jumpy.
These are two fantastic horses. Im hoping they can go as a pair.They both have their rabbies Shots.I dont have a camera so i couldnt put any pictures up. If you come and look at them I garentee you will want them.They are the best horse ever you wont regret the buy.
They are both very fat.
Well, at least he was being truthful about the weight. That’s one chubb-tastic horse! And now we at least know Ricky’s age. We can’t be the only ones who are more than a little depressed that a “fantastic” 25 year old horse hasn’t managed to earn a forever home yet.
Finally, “They are the best horse ever…” ? Hmmm… supports our equine centipede theory!
10 ways to get featured on Snarky Rider
10. Post a grammatically incorrect atrocious or information-low ad on craigslist
9. Use crappy pictures in your ad, including, but not limited to, 4 + year old photos, photo of a photo of your horse, group shots, shots so far away you can’t tell if the horse is grey or just really, really dirty
8. Breed a poorly conformed mare just so she’s not sitting in a field and call yourself a “breeding farm”
7. Offer a fugly stallion up for stud even though his balls should have been chopped off the second they descended.
6. Post pictures of yourself or your toddler doing stupid, irresponsible things with horses and priding yourself on your stupidity – leaving the rest of us to hope that natural selection will do away with you shortly.
5. Riding like an asshat and posting the pictures/videos on the internet to say, and here I’m paraphrasing, “haha look at us, we’re so stupid we think putting ourselves and our horse in danger is funny and don’t care about the consequences of our actions!”
4. Spouting tired, sexist rhetoric and blaming women for 99% of the problems in the horse world just because you can’t get laid.
3. Your “horse” looks like it may belong to a different species – such as a moose, a dog, a mountain goat, a yak, a chipmunk, a swan, a giraffe, a cow, and last but certainly not least: an alpaca!
2. Using an old, ailing horse to reenact that scene from Star Wars because you’re either completely frakked in the head or you’re so desperate for fame and attention you think this is acceptable behavior – actually I think “or” is the wrong word to use, “and” seems more suitable.
and the number one way to get yourself featured on this blog?
1. Starving or abusing your horse – or horse(s) in your care because you’re apparently old and senile and/or “didn’t know”.
Never have to worry about bathroom breaks!
An amazing 2 yr old with unbelivable potential, he is built like a brick outhouse 15.1 & still growing eats out of your hand and smart!!
Personally, I fail to see the resemblence. Perhaps if the outhouse was placed on stilts and painted a fugly color?
It almost looks like the rider’s about to slap himself upside the head…Cremello 2yr old stud colt cream gene tested!! Broke to ride and handles well on the ground. Loads, leads and handles like a dream, he acts more like a 900 pound puppy than a colt. This colt has kind eyes and an awesome temperament, with great confidence in himself. Ridden with 4wheelers, studs, mares, and in traffic. Very little spook for a colt! 28 months old should make 16 hands. Some trail experience. He has the bling and turns heads everywhere!
*bang*
*bang*
*bang*
I’m sorry, I had to take a moment to hit my head on my desk…
People! Stop riding the hell out of your two year olds! How does someone look at this horse and think, oh yeah, he’s ready for serious work? I’ve seen greyhounds that were more filled out than this guy! Of course he’s not acting spooky – he’s loaded up with a huge saddle, massive saddle bags, a longshanked curb and your big ass on him. He’s too damn tired to do anything!
But hey, if he breaks down, you can always just breed him and get purdy colored foals! Nevermind that he’s a Tennesse Walking Horse that apparently doesn’t actually do the Running Walk. Why, exactly, does this horse still have his balls? He’d make an adorable trail horse in a few years and would probably be a lot easier to sell as a gelding. Being a double dilute does not make him breeding quality!
So congratulations sir! You have qualified as the first official recipient of SnarkyRider’s Asshat Award! You’ve earned it!
Penguin reinacting scene from Titanic?
Does this not remind anyone else of that scene from Titanic when Kate and Leo are on the front of the ship?
Where’s Rocky?
Because here’s Bullwinkle!
And in case you ever wanted to know how to attract a boy moose…
Mountain Horse?
For today’s doppelganger, we’re fairly certain this little guys mommy had an illicit interspecies affair! Too bad daddy didn’t pass on his hind legs – extreme cow hocks much? Although that’s kinda the least of his issues!
Baaa-aaaa!
The Horsemunk
It’s that time of the year again. The leaves are falling, the day is shorter and the temperature is heading towards the dreaded zero. It’s at this time that the cute little woodland critters go into hibernation. We wish this stud would go into hibernation too!
This horse was found advertised as a stud and sent to us by a concerned (read amused) reader.
Apparently this talented stud “is stamping his foals with his gorgeous head.” Hide your nuts, there’s more chipmunks coming! Ladies and gentlemen, please have your boarding passes ready as we are now boarding the direct flight to Geldingtopia!
The owners of this amazing stud are also selling this beautiful filly (on dreamhorse.com) who “has alot of eye appeal”. Hopefully their bastardization of the English language goes beyond “alot” and instead of “appeal” they mean “a peel” – as in “I’m gonna go a peel that horrible image from my eyes” (said with a redneck twang, please).
My (DE) first comment upon seeing this filly’s neck went something along the lines of “oh good gawd, what’s wrong with her neck?!” Seriously, it looks like this baby was hitting the gym with Mr. I Have a Small Peep Body Builder (but his friends call him Ranger ‘Roid). To which JG gave me a withering stare and not-so-gently reminded me of the ever popular “fitting” and “sweating” techniques. She had kindly linked to these in our previous post “It’s Just a Baby!” and which can, once again, be viewed here and here.
ps. We realize this filly is currently bum-high but if you look closely and draw a line from her hocks to her knees – she’s most likely going to have a downhill build even when she’s full grown. Yet another example of humans gradually, and successfully, breeding away the useful characteristics of these once beautiful, working horses.
Bad breeders:
You just got lolcatz’d
You know you want one! 
snarkyrider 